Fifty Ways to Leave Iraq, Now!

(Sung to the tune of “Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover”)

by Connie Wilson

The situation’s not as bad as that, they said to us…

The answer’s easy if you only learn to trust…

We’d like to help them in their struggle to be free,

And then it’s: 50 ways to leave Iraq, now.

 Give Iraquis back their land, now.

That said, it’s really not our habit to intrude…

I hope our meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued…

So let’s repeat this phrase, at risk of being rude:

There must be: 50 ways to leave Iraq, now.

Chorus:

We’ll never be welcome; it’s a problem that’s large, boys!

It surely looms large, boys, in the quest to be free.

 They said, “It grieves me so to see your country in such pain…

We wish there were things to do to make things seem more sane.

Then, would you please explain, boys, about..

The 50 ways to leave Iraq, now.

Bush said, “Why don’t we both just go and sleep on this tonight?

And I believe that some time soon they’ll see the light.”

 And then a bomb exploded, obscuring our plain sight,

 Of the 50 ways to leave Iraq, now.

(Chorus repeats)