Category: Movies Page 50 of 59

Connie has been reviewing film uninterruptedly since 1970 (47 years) and routinely covers the Chicago International Film Festival (14 years), SXSW, the Austin Film Festival, and others, sharing detailed looks in advance at upcoming entertainment. She has taught a class on film and is the author of the book “Training the Teacher As A Champion; From The Godfather to Apocalypse Now, published by the Merry Blacksmith Press of Rhode Island.

“Creep” Is Low-Budget Horror Flick in Film Festival “After Dark” Series

By Connie Wilson

On October 18, 2014

In Movies, Pop Culture, Reviews

“Creep” is a low-budget horror film directed by Patrick Brice, who also wrote the story with Mark Duplass, one brother of the duo Jay and Mark Duplass (“Jeff, Who Lives At Home,” 2011).

While “Jeff, Who Lives At Home” was a funny film that used well-known actors like Susan Sarandon, Jason Segel and Ed Helms and seemed to have a budget of some substance, “Creep” most resembled “The Blair Witch Project” in terms of its herky-jerky hand-held camera work and what had to have been a spectacularly low budget.

The film begins with an online offer made to a cash-strapped filmmaker on March 21,2012 to come to a remote cabin for a day’s filming. The pay will be $1,000 for the day. Filmmaker Aaron Franklin (played by co-writer/director Patrick Brice) is also told: “Discretion is appreciated” (whatever that means).

It is telling that the duo of Patrick Brice and Mark Duplass both wrote the story, directed the story and played the two leads. In that respect, it reminded me of “The Editor” from Canada, another schlocky horror film where the director was listed performing nearly every duty from wardrobe to star. A two-person cast, think “The Babadook,” can make a successfully spooky psychological thriller on a low budget, but this isn’t it.

Jay Duplass did not have a big role in Mark Duplass’ project this time out, as he is busy filming television’s new drama “Transparent,” among other projects.

Upon reaching the cabin in the woods (wink, wink, as the write-up says) Aaron meets Josef (portrayed by Director/Writer/Actor Mark Duplass) who seems sincere when he tells Aaron that he is dying of cancer and wants to make a tape for his unborn child, much like Michael Keaton did in the movie “My Life.” However, shortly after explaining that this was why he summoned the filmmaker, Josef suggests that they adjourn to the bathroom, where Duplass’ character (Josef) proceeds to take off his clothes and get in the bathtub for what he terms “a tubby.” The audience tittered— who wouldn’t?

When Aaron seems surprised and tentative, Josef (Duplass) says, “This is a journey into the heart. We’re going to go a lot deeper places than this.”

Well, yes and no.

Besides periodically donning a wolf’s head mask which Josef has dubbed Peach Fuzz and intentionally trying to startle the filmmaker at every turn (“I’ve got a weird sense of humor, man.”) the pronouncements that Josef makes (“Death. It’s coming. There’s nothing that we can do.” “I love wolves. A wolf loves other wolves and, yeah, it occasionally murders things.”) make him seem like a loon, which the audience realizes immediately. Aaron, however, is not as quick a study. The smattering of tittering continued throughout the film; if straight psychological tension like the excellent film “The Babadook” was the goal, the film missed its mark.

After (finally) managing to break free of his client and return home, a series of CDs and messages are sent to Aaron by Josef and Aaron is so alarmed by them that he calls the police, telling them he is being stalked by a man who is “really weird and super creepy.”

The police, of course, are about as effective as usual, which means not at all interested in Aaron’s tale of an unknown harasser (Aaron never bothers to learn Josef’s last name!) who, as it turns out, did not own the cabin in the woods at all, but only rented it.

One line near the end of the film (Josef to Aaron) is: “It just seemed dumb that you would just sit there and not look behind you.”

My opinion? It just seemed dumb, period.

“The Imitation Game” Is Strong Oscar Contender for Film And Best Actor (Benedict Cumberbatch)

By Connie Wilson

On October 17, 2014

In Movies, Pop Culture, Reviews

“It’s the very people that no one can imagine anything of who do the things no one can imagine.” This refrain is repeated constantly throughout the film “The Imitation Game” as we watch Benedict Cumberbatch, ( a 3-time BAFTA nominee), inexorably move towards an Oscar nomination for Best Actor of 2014.

American audiences will know the 38-year-old Cumberbatch best from either his role as Little Charles Aiken, the slightly dim son of Chris Cooper, in “August: Osage County” or from “Star Trek Into Darkness 2.” He also appeared in 2013’s “Twelve Years a Slave,” (Best Picture of 2013). His breakthrough role was as Stephen Hawking in “Hawking” (2004). British audiences have enjoyed him as Sherlock Holmes in “Holmes” (2010) and in a number of television roles.

For me, watching the very British film in Chicago at its Premiere here, it was like watching Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons) and his buddies from television’s “The Big Bang Theory” try to crack the Nazi codes that will help the British and the Allies win World War II—only without the humor. The extreme intelligence, the arrogance, the emotional state that co-star Keira Knightley refers to as “fragile narcissism” is most analogous to Sheldon from television, even if that role is played for laughs and this one evokes the opposite of laughter.

The movie is based on a book by Andrew Hodges (who helped write the script) called “Allen Turing: The Enigma.” It is the true story of how a half-dozen genius mathematicians, logicians, cryptologists and computer scientist banded together at Bletchley Park in the south of England to figure out how to crack the German Enigma Code.

Every morning at 6 a.m. the Germans sent out a coded message. Unfortunately, the various combinations were 159 million million, which meant that it would take 10 men 20 million years to try to figure out just one missive. And the codes were changed each day; so deciphering one code would not help with the next day’s transmission.

At movie’s end we are told that cracking the code saved 14 million lives and shortened the war by at least 2 years. Alan Turin, however—an odd duck if there ever was one—was offered a choice between incarceration for being homosexual or chemical castration. This was his reward for saving the lives of millions. [It seems fitting that Queen Elizabeth saw fit to pardon him, posthumously, in 2013.]

And it seems quite fortuitous that a film that comes down on the side of gay rights is being released this year, when marriage equality is sweeping the United States. Just as last year’s Best Picture film had a topic that voters could get behind (anti-slavery), so, too, does this one. It seems inevitable that it will be nominated; it is very well done.

Add in the feminist point of view with Keira Knightley as the sole woman brainiac asked to work on the project. When asked why she wants the others on the project to like her by Turing, she says, “I’m a woman in a man’s job and I don’t have the luxury of being an asshole.” Now, you have a double threat in the movie theme department. You can make that a triple threat when you add in the anti-war/anti-violence message (“Humans find violence deeply satisfying.”)

Morton Tyldum directed (“Buddy”, “Headhunters”) a script by Graham Moore and Andrew Hodges (Hodges is also the author of the book on which the film is based).

The film explains that wartime Britain was starving. Although the United States was dropping 100,000 pounds of food daily, the needed foodstuffs were being bombed into oblivion by the German blitz. If the dispatches between the Nazi headquarters and their troops could be decoded, it would be “like having a tap on Hitler’s intercom.” And genius mathematician (but extremely poor team player) Alan Turing, who conceived the concept of an early digital computer (“Christopher”) and built it form scratch, was the man portrayed as almost singlehandedly responsible for the breakthrough the team makes [after a random comment in a bar gives them a fresh insight].

Following their success, in this film from our British friends at Black Bear Productions, the film tells us that the Normandy Invasion, Stalingrad—really, nearly any major battle you can name from WWII—was made “winnable” by knowing the German strategies from decoding their messages beforehand, thanks to the Bletchley Park team that worked to decode Enigma after the device was smuggled out of Berlin by Paris intelligence. (Maybe the filmmakers should also put up a notation that, without the French stealing the machine in the first place, there wouldn’t have been any machine to work on decoding?)

So, as the script puts it, the British needed to “maintain a conspiracy of lies at the highest levels of government.” They managed to do just that and to keep it a secret for 50 years, but the strong warning about more wars was one reason the successful government project was classified as Top Secret for so long. (What if another war broke out and another code-breaking team needed to be assembled?)

The film opens wide on November 21st. Pro feminism, pro tolerance (and anti-homophobia), anti-war. This film and Cumberbatch’s strong performance in it will be top contenders in this year’s Oscar race.

Bill Murray’s Role in “St. Vincent” Generating Oscar Buzz

By Connie Wilson

On October 16, 2014

In Humor and Weird Wilson-isms, Interviews, Movies, Reviews

St. Vincent Director Ted Melfi managed to get Bill Murray to star in “St. Vincent” by being persistent and calling him “about 40 times” on his 800 phone line, because Murray has no manager or press agent. Says Melfi, “The hardest part about getting Bill Murray in anything is finding him, because he has no agent and no manager; he has an 800 number. I bet I called that 800 number 40 times. When he actually did call me back, at first, I didn’t think it was him. Then I realized that was his voice.”

“So Bill Murray says, ‘Meet me at LAX in an hour, which was 9 o’clock. And so I drive down to LAX, and, sure enough, Bill Murray comes down the causeway and says, “Ted? Let’s go for a drive.’”
“ We drive for 3 hours from L.A. to the Pechanga Indian Reservation and Casino. So, Bill says to me, “I like you. Do you wanna’ do this movie?”

I said, “Yes…that’s what I’m here for”
“Do you want to do it with me?”
I said, “Yes, and Bill Murray says, ‘Let’s do it!’”

“I say, the only thing is, do you think you could tell someone else besides me that this whole thing happened—that we were driving down the road and you agreed to do the film? I can’t go to the studio and say, ‘Hey! Bill Murray said yes in the back of a town car on the highway on the way to an Indian Reservation. That’s just not gonna’ happen.”
“I look at Bill Murray and I don’t just say, ‘He’s one of the greatest comedians of our time. He’s one of the greatest actors of our time. And what people don’t know about Melissa (McCarthy) is that this girl did 7 years of hard-core drama in New York theater. And the goal for us, on set, was to not be funny.” This is quite obvious in the dialed-down performance of the often over-the-top McCarthy. Naomi Watts’ part as the brash Russian hooker/stripper is quite the departure from the woman surviving the tsunami in Thailand, but she pulls it off (No pun intended). Writer/Director Melfi described her talent as “the tip of the iceberg.” Chris O’Dowd, as always, was genial and enjoyable.
Says Melfi, “I remember the first day, I said, ‘Bill—do you want to rehearse with the kid?’

And Bill says, ‘No.’ And I think, ‘This is not gonna’ be good.’

I bring the kid to the set and take him over to Bill and I say, ‘Bill, this is Jaeden; Jaeden this is Bill.”

Bill grunts. And walks away. And I think, ‘This is not gonna’ work out.’

And then they did a scene together and Bill comes up to me after and says, ‘The kid’s good.’ And I said, “Yeah—he’s pretty good.’ And Bill said, ‘He’s real good.’ Once he figured out that the kid was good and that he was not a “kiddy” actor, they became, like, very best friends. In fact, Jaeden got the part on Cameron Crowe’s new movie. And Jaeden goes to Hawaii and Bill is offered a part in the Cameron Crowe movie. And Jaeden goes, ‘You should do it.’ And so Bill flies to do the Cameron Crowe movie because Jaeden told him to do the movie, and they spent the whole month scuba diving. So, it’s like this most ridiculous love affair, father/son beautiful thing.”
Melfi shared the story of the film’s genesis (which he wrote and directed). Melfi and his wife adopted his brother’s 11-year-old daughter after his eldest brother died eight years prior. Her Catholic school in Los Angeles made the assignment that is featured in this touching-but-funny movie. The students in Melfi’s daughter’s new school were assigned to write a paper on a “modern day” saint in their real life and a historic saint who shared the same qualities. She picked St. William of Rochester, the patron saint of adopted children, just like Oliver in the movie. “And, ” adds Melfi, “she picked me. It was just like this touching, sentimental moment for us. And I said, ‘Okay. That’s the movie.”

“Vincent is a timeless character because so many of us get to the end of our lives and go, “That was it?”
“So, what’s amazing about the movie, for me is that this little kid, Oliver, who’s 12, tells him, ‘Dude, you did great. You served our country in the war. You took care of your wife for 8 years. You did freaking great, so be proud of what you’ve done.
“Too many filmmakers think to themselves that they have to put their stink on everything they make,” says Melfi. Using Michael Bey’s films as an example, Melfi said, “I choose not to stink up the place” ( “Last Call” appearance with Carson Daley). Says Melfi, “The film is about an older gentleman who is a Vietnam veteran who is kind of a drunk curmudgeon who doesn’t have much to live for any more until a little boy (Oliver, well played by newcomer Jaeden Lieberher) moves in next door to him.” The young boy shows the boozy reprobate that he hasn’t been such a loser, after all. Murray becomes the boy’s nanny/babysitter while mother Melissa McCarthy works long hours as an X-ray technician.
“It is like The Isle of the Misfit Toys,” says Melfi. “Bill Murray is a misfit gambler. Melissa McCarthy is a broken-down single mom who can’t get her life together. Naomi Watts is a pregnant Russian hooker. So the only person who has their act together, really, is the kid.”
The film opens with Murray telling an Irish joke that involves confusion between the words porch and Porsche. (Fill in your own joke here). The joke’s not that funny, but, then again, the movie is not really a comedy, either. It’s more of a heart-warming “dramedy.” The humor it does contain is created by what we can call the Murray Mythos. Murray is laid-back. Eccentric. Cool. Funny in the Murray throw-away fashion. Gruff on the exterior; warm and fuzzy on the inside.
And, as we learn in scenes within the film, Vincent has been faithfully visiting his addled wife (in an expensive nursing home he can’t afford) for 8 years, even though she doesn’t remember who he is.
For me, the inclusion of Chris O’Dowd—who was so good in the little-seen movie “The Sapphires”—carried with it echoes of the younger Murray as he used to be on Saturday Night Live when he’d play everything from a bad lounge lizard singer to skits with Belushi and the gang. The troupe on SNL was truly remarkable. This cast is no less so, including Naomi Watts, Terrance Howard and the trio of Murray, McCarthy and child actor Jaeden Lieberher.
The scene we’ve all seen on television (official trailer above) where Murray tries to close out his bank account, only to learn that he has used up all the cash he received from a reverse mortgage and now has a negative balance is indicative of the kind of deadpan “so sad it’s funny” acting that Murray does so brilliantly.

What you don’t see on the film clip is “the rest of the story.”

When the Asian bank teller initially asks him why he wants to close out his account, Murray says, “I do not want to tell you to go f— yourself, so let’s just leave it at that.” There are also some Murray Moments showing the cranky curmudgeon answering phone calls from telemarketers with his typical brioche.(“Come on, Coward! Try to sell me something.)
The film also drives a sharp stake through the use of the catch-all phrase, “It is what it is.” Murray boils it down this way, explaining that it really means: “You’re screwed and you shall remain screwed.”
Chris O’Dowd’s priest, a teacher at St. Vincent’s, the private Catholic School that Oliver attends, worked 12 to 14 hour days, flying in on the red eye and working for four days, as he was also simultaneously shooting a television project. O’Dowd’s scenes are loose and genial. He gets the line, “Catholics are the best of all, because we have the most rules,” which he tells his classroom charges.
The concept of an adult who takes an innocent young boy out and exposes him to the seamier side of life was done earlier this year in Jason Bateman’s “Bad Words;” Murray’s taking young Oliver to the race track and a bar are scenes from the same playbook. The difference is that Oliver’s unsuspecting mother (Melissa McCarthy), who is waging a battle for custody of her young son, learns what “the babysitter” and his charge have been up to only when they are appearing in court. (The husband will be a familiar face from “Thirty Rock.”)

The other difference is that this is Bill Murray. Once Murray committed to the film, said Melfi, things fell into place. Other “name brand” actors wanted to work with Murray, in much the same way that marquee names known for taking films for reasons other than a gigantic pay-day attract other talented performers. This is an excellent cast, and they all deliver the goods.

It’s a fine movie with memorable performances. For emotional resonance, think of Clint Eastwood’s stint acting in “Grand Torino.” It’s always a pleasure to see Bill Murray in a role that lets him take the bit in his teeth and run with it, even if he’s running with a cigarette in his mouth and a drink in his hand.

So hunker down and enjoy the debut performances as well as those by an accomplished actor who seemingly can do it all.

One-on-One with Liv Ullmann, Star of Ingmar Bergman’s Films

By Connie Wilson

On October 14, 2014

In Interviews, Movies, Pop Culture

One day after her film adaptation of the 1888 Strindberg play “Miss Julie” opened the 50^th Chicago Film Festival, actress Liv Ullmann was kind enough to speak with me one-on-one about the film, her future projects, and life, in general. We met at the Park Hyatt Hotel in Chicago and the beautiful Norwegian actress, muse to Ingmar Bergmann in so many of his films, was warm and welcoming.

Ullmann had much praise for her “Miss Julie” dream cast (Jessica Chastain, Colin Farrell and Samantha Morton) saying, of Jessica Chastain, “She is both cool and cold. She’s a young woman grappling with non-existence. I just think she’s a genius. It’s very much the way I act.” She added, “I think the actors’ movie is the actors’ movie” and praised the trio universally. Liv remarked on Miss Julie’s feeling of not belonging, indicating that she thought Ms. Chastain was remarkable as the female lead.

The director was no less effusive in her praise of male lead Colin Farrell, saying, “No one else could do the movie as he did it.” Although selected partially because of his handsome good looks, Ullmann remarked that, during filming, Farrell awoke one night and wrote a poem as though he were John the valet, writing to Miss Julie. “I tried to find a way to use it in the film,” said Ullmann, “but ultimately we could not fit it in.”

Ullmann said, of Farrell’s selection as the male lead, “I saw a lot of Colin’s movies and I could see that he is also a theater actor. For me, I like to work with theater actors because I like to make films that are film theater.”

I mentioned Farrell’s appearances in both “Tigerland” and “In Bruges,” both early films of his, and also repeated the quote that Al Pacino once called Farrell “the greatest actor of his generation.” Liv Ullmann said, “He was fantastic in “In Bruges.’ What first sold me on him for ‘Miss Julie” was what he said during a phone conversation. It floored me. I thought, ‘This is a soul mate.’ He’s an incredible actor and he’s going to bring what I think no one really will expect from him to television’s ‘True Detective,’ (with Vince Vaughan) because he has dimensions which you seldom see in a film actor. He shows you the good and, at the same time, he shows you the bad.”

I had brought along a Chicago Tribune clipping about an Atlantic Monthly article quoting Mayor Emanuel’s older brother, a noted oncologist and bio-ethicist, saying that 75 was the optimal life span. After that, suggested the Mayor’s older brother, you were not viewed the same way and might even be seen as pathetic.

Upon entering the room, I gave the article to Ms. Ullmann and said, “The Mayor of Chicago’s older brother says we all should die at 75.” This was a bit of a simplification, but the thought was definitely there in Ezekial Emanuel’s words. [Ezekial Emanuel is an oncologist and bio-ethicist at the University of Pennsylvania and has been singled out by his brother, the Mayor, as “the smartest one” of the three brothers].

Unfortunately, Liv Ullmann thought I had used the word “diet.” When she realized that the word was actually “die” she seemed as upset by Ezekial Emanuel’s remarks as I was. She is also deeply concerned about the class system and the unequal distribution of wealth that is occurring, world-wide, saying, “I believe more in its (the class system’s) existence now than ever!” She was praised for her humanitarian works from the stage on Premiere night by Colin Farrell.

New projects? “I will be doing an adaptation of ‘Private Confessions.’ Ingmar (Bergman) gave it to me years ago saying, “I don’t believe in God, but you do.” The National Theater in Norway will adapt it for the stage.” Ullmann said, “It is about connecting. How damaging is it to lie to one another? How damaging is it to be truthful?”

“After Dark” Film Festival Series Offers “The ABC’s of Death, Part 2”

By Connie Wilson

On October 13, 2014

In Movies, Pop Culture, Reviews

“The ABC’s of Death,” Part 2, screened as part of the After Dark series at the 50th Chicago Film Festival on October 12th. The film is composed of 26 short films about death, assigned alphabetically and shot by 26 directors from around the world.
With titles like “B is for Badger” (one of my personal favorites featuring Julian Barratt as both Director and Star) and “F is for Falling,” done by the outstanding duo of Israel’s Aharon Keshales and Navot Papushado (“Rabies”), the vignettes were often humorous and sometimes revolting.
“B is for Badger,” which Julian Barratt directed, falls into the category of humorous. Barratt not only directed the short film, but plays the lead part of Peter Toller, a pompous television talking head who has taken his crew to a remote rural area near a large nuclear power plant to make the point that the power plant has driven the badgers away.

Only it hasn’t.

The (unseen) vicious badgers are not only alive and well, but apparently very large and aggressive, as Toller/Barratt finds out firsthand, till he utters the director’s command, “Cut!”
Titles of the films, alphabetically, were:
“A is for Amateur”
“B Is for Badger” (**)
“C is for Capital Punishment” (*)
“D Is for Deloused”
“E Is for Equilibrium” (*)
“F Is for Falling” (**)
“G Is for Granddad”
“H Is for Headgames” (*)
“I Is for Invincible”
“J Is for Jesus:
“K Is for Knell” (*)
“L is for Legacy”
“M Is for Masticate”
“N Is for Nexus” (*)
“O Is for Ochlocracy” (Mob Rule)
“P-P-P-P Is for Scary”
“Q Is for Questionnaire” (*)
“R Is for Roulette”
“S Is for Split” (**)
“T Is for Torture Porn”
“U Is for Utopia” (*)
“V Is for Vacation” (*)
“W Is for Wish”
“X Is for Xylophone”
“Y Is for Youth”
“Z Is for Zygote” (*)
Of the 26, I’d say that roughly half, starred or double-starred above, were absorbing, interesting and fulfilled the assignment in style. The less said about most of the other titles, the better.
I don’t want to give away the plots of any of the short films completely but I did notice a disturbing trend. Just as comedians have to have a target for their humor [and, in this age of political correctness, that target has become harder and harder to find without offending some group or cause], horror needs a Whipping Boy or Girl target, as well.

It used to be that comics could make fun of ethnic groups (now “out”), sexual preferences (verboten), and so on, to the point that sometimes it felt as though the only group left that was “fair game” were midgets (aka, “little people”)—until they, too, weren’t. (Remember the midget-throwing scene in “The Wolf of Wall Street?”).
It seems that old people are the new target of horror. There is even one film entitled simply “Granddad” and in the short film representing the letter “I,” the three-man cast sets fire to their own grandmother. One Japanese film is entitled “Youth.” Sumechi Umezawa definitely does not represent the venerable Japanese tradition of honoring one’s parents. Its young star is a decidedly hostile teen-ager. “X Is for Xylophone” makes you worry about ever leaving your child in the care of her grandmother. So four (of 26)—or roughly 15%— are decidedly anti-elder.
Many of the films have tried hard to combine humor with horror, with varying degrees of success. (“B Is for Badger” by Julian Barratt is one that succeeded; many did not. “P-P-P-P Is for Scary” was not scary, but was like watching a bad Three Stooges short, without the fun of watching Curly, Moe and Larry.
Mention should be made of the excellent opening credits designed by Wolfgang Moetzel, which started the ongoing trend of either head-smashing or beheading. With so much actual beheading going on in the real world (not to mention smashing of same on “The Walking Dead”), I did not yearn to see beheadings onscreen. (There’s enough of that on the 6 o’clock news or on YouTube.)
So, for me, roughly 50% of these 26 short films were entertaining and palatable and I’ve marked them with asterisks. It would be hard to pick an overall favorite as I did enjoy the new short film by Aharon Keshales (“Rabies”), whom I interviewed at last year’s festival, but I also enjoyed the excellent “Split,” which used a split-screen technique to portray a husband speaking with his wife long-distance on the phone while an intruder breaks into the house and terrorizes her and their baby. Juan Martinez Moreno directed and Gary Reumer did a good job portraying the concerned husband trying to summon help for his wife while far away at the time of the attack.

Colin Farrell, Liv Ullmann and Kathleen Turner at 50th Chicago Film Festival

By Connie Wilson

On October 10, 2014

In Movies, Pop Culture

Chicago Celebrates 50 Years of Oldest Competitive Film Festival in North America at Premiere on Thursday, 10/9/2014
CHICAGO, IL (October 10, 2014) – Opening Night of the 50th Chicago International Film Festival was a golden celebration. Veteran actress Liv Ullmann, actor Colin Farrell, Festival Jury Member Kathleen Turner and “The Fugitive” director Andrew Davis joined Festival Founder and Artistic Director Michael Kutza on the red carpet for the U.S. Premiere of Ullmann’s latest film “Miss Julie” on Thursday, October 9 at the Harris Theater.

Academy Award®-nominated and Golden Globe®-winning actress Kathleen Turner; acclaimed filmmaker and New German Cinema pioneer Margarethe von Trotta; Turkish director Ferzan Ozpetek (whose latest film, “Fasten Your Seatbelts,” is an Official selection at this year’s Festival); award-winning Israeli cinematographer Giora Bejach; and Iranian editor and director Parviz Shahbazi. And then came the moment the media and the public were waiting for: Liv Ullmann and Colin Farrell, together on the red carpet with Michael Kutza.

Once inside the theater, the audience was treated to video greetings from past Festival honorees and friends, including Davis; producer, writer and director Robert Zemeckis (“Forrest Gump”); and director Martin Scorsese, whose first film, “I Call First,” premiered at the 1967 Chicago International Film Festival. In his video message, Scorsese acknowledged the encouragement he received from both the Festival and a young film critic at the time named Roger Ebert.

Michael Kutza took the stage, acting as Master of Ceremonies, and introduced a video that illustrated the year-round work done by Cinema/Chicago, the presenting organization of the Chicago International Film Festival. After remarks from Chairman of the Governing Board Jeanne Randall Malkin, Representative Ken Dunkin, 5th District of the State of Illinois, and President and CEO of Columbia College Chicago, Dr. Kwang-Wu Kim, the lights went down and the audience was treated to a personal video message from Chicago Mayor Rahm Emmanuel. Emmanuel acknowledged the role the Chicago International Film Festival has played in the City’s history.

Kathleen Turner (“Body Heat”), head of the jury at the 50th Annual Chicago Film Festival.

The Festival then presented American Airlines with the Gold Hugo for Leadership in the Arts, in recognition of American Airlines’ continued support of the arts and the Film Festival. Judi Gorman, Regional Manager, Sales Promotion & Community Relations, Central Division Sales for American Airlines, accepted the award on behalf of its worldwide employees and commented that both American’s and the Festival’s missions are aligned to “promote cultural diversity and raise the profile of Chicago as a city that does work.”

After formally introducing the members of the International Feature Competition jury, the Festival went on to honor some dear friends who are no longer with us in a video remembrance. Among the “Absent Friends:” director and writer Patrice Chéreau; writer, director and Chicagoan Harold Ramis; director and festival honoree Richard Attenborough; and silent screen comedienne and the Festival’s “Godmother” Colleen Moore, among others. But the largest round of applause was reserved for the final image on the video presentation: film critics and supporters of the Festival, Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert.

Ullmann then joined Kutza on stage to present the U.S. premiere of her film “Miss Julie.,” based on the Strindberg play. Calling Kutza her “absolute favorite Festival director,” Ullmann declared films a “most important medium”—one that makes theaters a “magic place” where people can see “real life.” She described Farrell as a “genuine actor,” one who gave the best performance of his career for her film. Farrell returned the compliment by describing Ullmann as “the most incredibly deeply feeling” person he’s met and one whose work on behalf of the disenfranchised will long be remembered.

The morning after the premiere of “Miss Julie” I met with Liv Ullmann one-on-one to talk about the film. The review will be postponed, by request, until the film is released, as it is currently seeking distributorship in the U.S.

Robert Duvall and Robert Downey, Jr. Shine in “The Judge”

By Connie Wilson

On October 6, 2014

In Movies, Reviews

Robert Downey, Jr. and Director David Dobkin previewed their new film “The Judge,” co-starring Robert Duvall, in Chicago at the AMC Theater on Sunday, October 5th, 2014. It opens wide on October 10, 2014.
The film should earn a Best Actor nomination for Robert Duvall and Robert Downey, Jr., as the prodigal son, gives just as strong a performance (Best Supporting?). When Duvall is shown at his wife’s graveside saying, “You’ve always been my sweetheart and you always will be. I want you to know that. I’ll be back tomorrow and every day after that,” you get just a tiny taste of what will surface at Oscar-time in clips, and it resonated with the audience around me.
That is not the only powerful Oscar-worthy scene in the film. The courtroom scenes are equally strong and Duvall as a 72-year-old father with Stage IV colon cancer who must be helped in the bathroom by the son he is estranged from is equally powerful because it’s the way real life plays out.
The script, by Nick Schenk and Bill Dubuque has just enough of the saucy, insouciant Downey attitude to ease us into his more serious appearance here as a lawyer not unlike Matthew McConaughey in “Lincoln Lawyer.” Although filming actually was done in Massachusetts, the setting is (supposedly) Carlinville, Indiana and Downey’s character, is described by his old high school girlfriend, Sam (Vera Farmiga), this way: “You’re just a boy from Indiana who’s gonna’ do whatever he has to do to forget that.”
The main theme of the film concerns the relationship between fathers and sons, especially if the son in question was a problem child when a teenager. Not only was Downey’s middle child troublesome, he actually cost his older brother Glen (Vincent D’Onofrio) a possible pro career in baseball, causing a car accident while driving under the influence when they were teenagers. Dad has not forgiven nor forgotten. When Mom dies and Hank Palmer travels home, solo, for her funeral, the sparks between father and son fly once again.
Seven years in the making, the film is long, but the script is good. Downey gets to spout lines like, “Don’t get sued before you lose your next case” to small town attorney Dax Shepard, whom his father has hired to defend him when he is accused of a hit-and-run murder. Once more in the bosom of his family, Hank is obviously Dad’s least favorite child, while dear old dad (Downey describes him to his 7-year-old granddaughter as “just a dirty old mummy”) favors Glen (D’Onofrio), the oldest boy, and Glen has looked after younger brother Dale, who is described as “a dimwit shutterbug retard” by some locals.
The use of Dale’s home movies, which are his passion, allows us to see the boys when young, as we hear and see evidence of the growing chasm between father and son, caused by Downey’s wild antics as a young man. However, Hank cleaned up his act and graduated Number One in his Northwestern University Law Class, but his father, Judge Joseph Palmer (Duvall) cannot get past his resentment and disappointment in his middle boy, with sentiments expressed like, “You and you alone are responsible for the consequences of your actions.”
It is true that we’ve seen films with these plots before, but it’s a good bet that you won’t see many 83-year-old actors turn in a stronger performance ever than Duvall does in this one. And, having said that, Downey’s good, too. As are the supporting cast mates, including Billy Bob Thornton as the prosecuting attorney; Dax Shepard as a hapless local lawyer; Vincent D’Onofrio as oldest brother Glen; Jeremy Strong as the retarded youngest brother Dale; Ken Howard as the judge in the murder case; Grace Zabriskie as the mother of the hit-and-run victim; Balthazar Getty as a cop, and featuring Thomas Newman’s music and Janusz Kaminski’s wonderful cinematography, complete with a waterfall outside the Flying Deer Diner, (which old girlfriend Sam now owns).
There is a scene where jury selection is taking place and Downey—the slick Chicago lawyer from Highland Park—asks the jury how many have bumper stickers on their cars (or trucks)? Hands go up. Downey then asks what their bumper stickers say, and, among the answers are: “Gun control means using both hands” and “Wife and dog missing. Reward for dog.”
With each response, lawyer Hank gives a thumbs up or a thumbs down sign to his second-in-command (Dax Shepard), a lawyer who throws up before every court appearance. When Shepard’s character asks what sort of juror they should be looking for, Downey says, “People who can be persuaded to swallow their tongues. Anyone who has seen a Sasquatch.”
Lines like, “Everybody’s Atticus Finch until there’s a dead hooker in the hot tub” suit Downey’s snarky wit from his comic book turns as “Ironman,” but, as Downey said this night in his opening remarks, “Every 20 years or so I try to make a great movie. This is like free therapy. That’s all I’m going to say.”
Everyone knows, from Downey’s previous fast-talking image onscreen, that he can deliver snarky lines with the best of them, but Duvall gets some great lines, too. Here’s one: “Imagine a far-away place where people value your opinion. Then go there.”
It is the bull-headed, stubborn intelligent back-and-forth of these two old adversaries as they try to craft a defense for the older man who, admittedly, cannot remember all the events from the night of the accident. Judge Joseph Palmer has been on the bench for 42 years; he is worried about his legacy, while his outspoken lawyer son says, “Nobody gives a rat’s ass about your legacy.” There is the clash of small-town versus big city values, as well as the old personal wounds, whose scabs are, one-by-one, ripped open again.
At one point, a detractor says of Downey’s Hank, “You’re a shined-up wooden nickel.” Another says to him, “You really aren’t a pleasant person.” Still, Downey manages to make Henry “Hank” Palmer likable, as we see how hard he has tried to redeem himself in his father’s eyes, and how little rewarded his adult efforts have been. I was reminded of “The Great Santini” while watching Duvall in action.
Detractors (i.e., some other critics) have ripped the film for its length (it is long); for its “everyman” set of issues that appeal to all; for the lack of significant female leads and the almost superfluous old-girlfriend-back-home plot thread. One even criticized one of the scenes I found strongest, which is the elderly Duvall, weakening every day, having to accept help from his middle son in a dire moment in the bathroom. I’ve cared for three parental units as they faced their final days. It was Stage IV colon cancer that killed my father, although the situation faced in this film had more in common with my mother, who died of old age, but had more than one emergency trip to the hospital after passing out from extremely brittle diabetes. I’ve found her unconscious and had to scrub feces from the carpet after a coma sent her readings into levels so high they couldn’t even be measured in the hospital (800+). I’ve helped a proud dying man stagger to the bathroom. This is real life. Whoever wrote that it was treacly and sentimental is very possibly a young person who thinks they will live forever and never grow frail. (Good luck with that!)
An interesting side note: Tommy Lee Jones and Jack Nicholson were both considered for Duvall’s part, while the director this night said he had Robert Downey, Jr. in mind for son Hank when he first began developing the script 7 years ago. [Director David Dobkin (“Wedding Crashers”) helped develop the story, but did not script it. From there, said the Director, “We got a good script and took it to Robert and Susan (Downey’s wife).”
I enjoyed the film immensely and think Duvall and Downey, together onscreen, are a dynamite duo.

Chicago Film Festival Preliminaries

By Connie Wilson

On September 30, 2014

In Books, Movies, Pop Culture

AMC Theater, Chicago, 50th Annual Chicago Film Festival.

I’m in Chicago, getting ready to cover the Chicago Film Festival.

Today—a beautiful 80+ degree day, and probably the last of our Indian summer lovely weather—I took advantage of the great weather to dine outside on Wabash at a Mexican restaurant (Zapatista’s) and to view a Press Only screening of “Force Majeure,” which is rumored to be a front-runner for Oscar contention for Best Foreign Film this year.

The film was set in a ski lodge (and made by Norway, Sweden, Denmark and France). Suprisingly, most of the movie was in English, with fewer subtitles than anticipated. Since most young people in Sweden are brought up to speak both Swedish and English, perhaps I shouldn’t have been surprised.

Watching all the skiing scenes in deep snow made me sad to think that our lovely warm Chicago weather has deserted us (temperatures dropped 20 to 30 degrees as evening came on tonight, Monday, September 29th.) Since we were just in Las Vegas where it was 90 to 100 degrees (Fahrenheit) (and, before that, in New Orleans, where it was similarly warm, but much more humid)), watching this tribute to winter was less-than-thrilling, if you prefer beaches and warm weather (as I do).

With October just one day away and November lurking in the wings (to be followed by December), I’m already feeling the chill. Can’t take another winter like last year. Going to have to get out of Dodge. Planning on doing that after the holidays, but first, must market the NEW “Christmas Cats” book, which is speeding its way toward me as I write this. I’ll be doing signings WITH the costumed cat at three bookstores in the Quad Cities and, in all likelihood, will be at Razzleberries in LeClaire during their winter festivities, at Freddy Fritters’ Dog Bakery during the Village of East Davenport Christmas Walk, and at the Four Seasons store in Geneseo during their big Christmas parade. Dates to be announced as I find them out (although I do know that I’ll be in South Park Mall on Dec. 6th at Book World.)

AMC Theater, Chicago, 50th Annual Chicago Film Festival.

Last year, the Christmas Cats Chase(d) Christmas Rats. This year, The Christmas Cats Encounter Bats. First-rate artwork from Gary McCluskey helps drive home the message that all life has value and should be respected. And, of course, going all the way back to the first book, illustrated by local East Moline artist Andy Weinert, we’re talking about The Christmas Cats in Silly Hats. The cats are always going to be wearing silly hats; it’s their fashion statement. And they’re always going to be helping other animals in need. (Next year, frogs or deer, I’m thinking). This year’s book will also include access to FREE coloring book pages on the dedicated website (www.TheXmasCats.com) and mazes and other fun stuff, with young readers invited to send in their ideas, also. Stay tuned for further developments.

But, back to the film festival.

The leading man from “Force Majeure” will be in town for interviews soon. The examination of a marriage under stress had a script that I could relate to. (The wife: “It’s so weird that you won’t admit what happened.” The husband: “I want us to share the same view. I want to put it all behind us.”) The temperature flashed on the screen (for the ski lodge) was – 22 degrees, Celsius. (This converts to -7.6 degrees Fahrenheit). The movie’s themes aside, the mere act of watching people skiing in deep, cold snow reminded me of why I have never had any desire to ski. Water ski, yes. Snow ski? Uh…no thank you.

The performances from leading lady Lisa Loven Kongslo as Ebba and Johanne Kuhnke of Sweden as Tomas were outstanding, as were those of their two children.

So, stay tuned for adventures from the 50th Anniversary of the Film Festival that is the oldest film festival in North America. It doesn’t officially kick off until October 9th.

Rob Reiner Appears in Chicago with New Film “And So It Goes”

By Connie Wilson

On June 19, 2014

In Movies, Pop Culture, Reviews

Rob Reiner appeared in Chicago on Wednesday, June 18, at the Icon Theater on Roosevelt Road for the preview of his new film, “And So It Goes,” a dramedy aimed squarely at Baby Boomers, which stars Diane Keaton and Michael Douglas. The 67-year-old director of “The Bucket List” (another film focused on “mature” people) was his usual warm, engaging self in the Q&A that followed the film. While the film may only rate a “C,” Reiner gets an “A+.”

With Rob Reiner in Chicago at the Icon Theater on June 18, 2014 preview of new film “And So It Goes.”

I first met Reiner in 2004 when he came to Davenport, Iowa to campaign for presidential candidate Howard Dean; he gave me a big bear hug that night. When I mentioned it, he gave me another big bear hug. His persona is truly engaging, enthusiastic and down-to-earth. He appeared fit and virile. I wish I could say the same about either Diane Keaton (a vocal opponent of plastic surgery, who became the spokesperson for L’Oreal in 2006) or for Michael Douglas. Both of them looked their respective ages (68 and nearly 70), and, to my untrained eye, Douglas looks sick (He was diagnosed with cancer August 16, 2010.)

I enjoyed Reiner’s Q&A after the film much more than the movie. Who wouldn’t want to hear behind-the-scenes stories from the director of such great films as “Stand By Me,” “When Harry Met Sally,” “A Few Good Men,” Misery,” “The Princess Bride,” “Sleepless in Seattle,” “This Is Spinal Tap” and “The American President” (another film starring Douglas)?

Reiner even has a small part in the film, cast as a piano player who accompanies Diane Keaton as she sings, (a la Michelle Pfeiffer in 1989’s “The Fabulous Baker Boys.”) When asked how he happened to take on the part of Artie Burns, the accompanist, Reiner said, “I needed an actor who would work for scale, and I found me. Plus, I had always wanted to have a role where I got to wear such a natural-looking toupee.” (A joke, as the rug is referenced with comic intent.)

Rob Reiner answering audience questions in Chicago on Wednesday, June 18, 2014.

Reiner’s point-of-view on the romance that slowly builds between Diane Keaton’s warm, giving widow and Michael Douglas’ unbearably cranky curmudgeonly widower in the film is, “Essentially, it’s always the same story. My view of the way woman and men react with each other. Women are more evolved, more mature. (applause from the crowd) It’s all about grabbing on to life and having fun with it.”
Reiner went on to say that turning 60 brought him to the realization that, “Thanks to medical science, we won’t be able to get out of here!” He pointed to his Morgan Freeman/Jack Nicholson 2007 hit, “The Bucket List” saying: “I think there’s an audience out there for this film,” meaning the baby boomers, the largest group in our nation (which begs the question of whether baby boomers actually leave home to go out to the theater).
The film’s message (and Reiner’s advice): “Live until you’re no more.” The script recites truisms like: “Love always comes at a price” and “Sometimes, life outlives love.” Unfortunately, the script also had dick jokes and lines like, “I’ve sold houses older than you and in worse condition,” and “What she (Keaton) lacks in curb appeal she makes up for with historic charm. She slept with Elvis.”
Originally, in the script by Mark Andrus (who also wrote “As Good as It Gets,” hence the extremely similar-sounding title), Keaton’s character was a woman who did something with tapestries and weaving, said Reiner. Declaring that pursuit essentially boring, Reiner credited Keaton, herself, with suggesting that Leah be a woman of a certain age embarking on a new career as a singer.
Keaton does all of her own singing in the film. Like Pfeiffer before her, she surprises with a pleasant delivery of old favorites like “The Shadow of Her Smile,” “Both Sides Now” and “Blue Moon.” Douglas’ character suggests she add some “more recent” tunes, specifically mentioning Bonnie Raitt. Reiner commented that he really liked the idea that Keaton was starting a new chapter in her life at an advanced age (in the film, Leah says she is 65; in real life, Keaton is 68) because his own mother started a singing career at age 65. (Audiences may remember Reiner’s mother Estelle as the older woman restaurant customer in his film “When Harry Met Sally” who says, “I’ll have what she’s having,” after Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm at the lunch table with Billy Crystal.)
Reiner described the famously eccentric Keaton telling him, “I don’t act. I just am who I am.” Reiner went on to say that there is no division between Keaton’s onscreen and off-screen images. “She just takes the dialogue and makes it come out of her mouth,” said Reiner. If only she could have taken the dialogue and made it better. The director also commented that Keaton recently told Jimmy Fallon on the “Tonight” show that Michael Douglas was one of the actors with whom she wished she had shared an onscreen kiss, but the two had never worked together.
The two share an onscreen kiss in this film, but there is no real chemistry. Douglas, in fact, as he closes in on 70 on September 25th, is showing every year. He has famously battled Stage IV tongue cancer since August of 2010. In an article that appeared January 11, 2011, medical experts said there was “a high chance of recurrence within 2 to 3 years.”
Of the “carpe diem” theme that repeats throughout the movie, Douglas, after some recently publicized marital troubles with wife of 14 years Catherine Zeta-Jones ( 25 years his junior) told “People” magazine’s Elizabeth Leonard, “When you’ve accomplished a certain amount in your career, you’re not so focused on your ambitions. It makes you appreciate— and hopefully you do that sooner rather than later—the value of your partner.”
Since part of the theme of the movie deals with Oren Little’s (Michael Douglas’) son, Luke, being a reformed heroin addict and ultimately drawing prison time, one wonders what was going through Douglas’ mind. His son Cameron with first wife Deandre Douglas has been in and out of trouble with the law for drugs since 1999 and will have to continue serving a prison sentence until at least 2018. Since much of the film deals with a son, estranged from his father, who must leave his 10-year-old daughter with his irascible father while he goes to prison, that theme may have hit close to home for the movie’s male lead.
Reiner had nothing but praise for Douglas’ professionalism onset, saying the two had both come from a background in series television (Douglas on “Streets of San Francisco;” Reiner as “Meathead” Michael Stivic on “All in the Family”) and were both the children of famous men. He remarked of Douglas, “ He’s just got incredible craft. He hits his mark and knows his lines.” (Douglas won his Best Actor Oscar in 1987 portraying Gordon Gekko in “Wall Street.” He also won an Oscar in 1975 for producing “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” and an Emmy last year, portraying Liberace in Steven Soderbergh’s “Behind the Candelabra.” Keaton won her Oscar April 3, 1978 at the 50th Academy Awards portraying Annie Hall in the Woody Allen film of the same name.
Reiner noted, “Of all the movies I’ve made, not one of them could be made today, because the studios just don’t make them.” He singled out “A Few Good Men” as being particularly problematic, because of the politics in the plot. Reiner added, “The studios only make three kinds of movies today: blockbusters, usually from comic books; animated films; and R-rated raunchy comedies.” Reiner didn’t mention the recent glut of horror movies, but he might have. Recently 5 previews at my local movie house were all for slasher films.
Other questions for Rob Reiner, post-film, and his responses:
Question 1, about Diane Keaton’s wardrobe. “Did Diane Keaton just wear her own clothes in the movie?”
Reiner responded indirectly, saying that, “All the things she wore are the things she knew she could wear.” (One woman in the theater audience commented that a certain dress had been worn previously by Keaton in another film).
Question 2: “Was it difficult to get the money to make this movie?”
Answer 2: “It’s always hard to get money from people. Give me five dollars! See (Reiner laughed), she won’t give it to me!” He noted that it took 4 years to get the financing to make “This Is Spinal Tap.”
Question 3: “What was the purpose of having Oren deliver the baby in the film?”
Answer 3: “It shows Oren’s (Douglas’) character arc. He was turning his back on life (after he was widowed). Then circumstances, a series of events, start affecting him. They’re all designed to make him come back to humanity.” Earlier, Reiner had noted that, after passing 60, he was enjoying life the most he ever had. “And so you go along and live your life. Be in the moment where you are. That’s all you have.” He joked that there was “a 100% demographic” of baby boomers for the film, saying, “60% of them will want to see it, but only 40% of them will have the ability to get to the theater.”
Question 4: “You recently played Max Belfort in ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’ for Martin Scorsese. How was that?”
Answer 4: “I actually met Mr. Belfort. He’s a very excitable fellow, but shorter than me, and you can see how his son Jordan could be so charming and convincing. When Martin Scorsese calls, you just do it. What is more unbelievable? That Leonardo DeCaprio is a Jew, or that I’m his father? Maybe I’m better-looking that I thought!”
Question 5: “Have you ever worked with Albert Brooks?”
Answer 5: “Yes. I worked with Albert in ‘The Muse.’ I played myself, so I was pretty believable.”
Question 6: “What is on your own personal bucket list?”
Answer 6: “Just doing what I’m doing now. In terms of life fulfillment, I’m doing what I want to do.”
Question 7: “There is a reference to Sammy Davis, Jr. in the movie, and none of the younger people know who he is. How did that come about?”
Answer 7: “That’s just so typical. Recently, I was with my family and we ran into Warren Beatty coming out of a restaurant. Now, I have three children who are 20, 23 and 16 (with second wife Michele Singer, a photographer he married in 1989 after meeting on the set of “When Harry Met Sally.”). They had no idea who Warren Beatty was, although they vaguely had heard of Bonnie & Clyde.”
Question 8: “Will you ever come back to Illinois and Chicago to direct a film?”
Answer 8: “Filmmakers today go where the tax breaks are. It was Michigan for a while—then Louisiana. If you have a small budget, you follow the tax breaks. We shot this in Connecticut because of the tax breaks. If they give you 30% above AND below the line, you go there to make a film.” He added that Chicago is a great place to make a movie and that the college scenes in “When Harry Met Sally” are represented by the University of Chicago. A representative of the Illinois Production Alliance in the audience said that Illinois does have good tax incentives for filmmaking in the state, and Reiner responded that he’d love to be able to make another film in Chicago.
Question 9: “You were politically active at one time, supporting Howard Dean in the 2004 election and also becoming active in California in 2006. Are you still considering running for office?”

Answer 9: “I sat my family down and polled them on whether I should run or not. I only polled 40%. When you only poll 40% in your own family, you shouldn’t run.”
The theme of the movie is (relentlessly) “carpe diem.” As Douglas, himself, told “Uinterview,” “When you’re older, you focus that energy on the people closest to you, on your family.”
My favorite story told Wednesday night involved a scene where Diane Keaton’s character is auditioning for a singing position that her self-proclaimed “manager,” Oren Little (Douglas), has arranged for her. Renowned singer Frankie Valli played the small part of the club owner listening to Keaton sing in a darkened room. “Diane didn’t know that Frankie Valli was sitting in the back listening to her sing and she got very nervous about it. She didn’t know he was in the movie at all. I told her, ‘Don’t feel bad. I have to play piano in front of Liberace!’” (a reference to Michael Douglas’ Emmy-winning 2013 television role opposite Matt Damon.)
The film opens in July (either July 11th or July 14th, depending on the source).

“Godzilla” Reappears Onscreen (for the 9th Time) to Mixed Reaction(s)

By Connie Wilson

On May 25, 2014

In Humor and Weird Wilson-isms, Movies, Reviews

Just returned from seeing “Godzilla” and, Boy, am I confused! Here’s an actual line from the movie that sums it up: “You have no idea what is happening!”

I cannot refrain from writing something snarky about this movie. It cries out for snark. I would warn any of you who do not want your viewing of the film ruined that my snarky comments may contain “spoilers.” This assumes, of course, that you CAN spoil “Godzilla” after 9 attempts at bringing the Japanese “top of the primordial ecosystem” monster to the big screen. (And, sometimes, as in 1998, to the small TV screen).

Snarky remark #1) WHY was Bryan Cranston wearing the world’s WORST toupee? Doesn’t Bryan have normal hair of his own, now that he’s no longer playing Walter White on television? What was wrong with Cranston’s real hair? I can’t decide which was the more horrible hair treatment: this thick brown dog-like rug or the Obama chia pet plant. It’s too close to call.

Snarky remark #2) So many good actors. So little for them to do. By all means, stick us with that uncharismatic leading man nobody has ever seen before for 90% of the movie (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) when there are really good actors standing around doing nothing (or disappearing from the plot after 15 minutes).

Seriously, folks, Bryan Cranston, [fresh from “Breaking Bad,” possibly the Best Dramatic Series Ever on Television] takes THIS role? What’s wrong with this picture? [Of course, Jessie Pinkman (Aaron Paul) didn’t do any better with his first film foray, a fast car movie that sank like a rock].

French actress Juliette Binoche, from the 2006 film “The English Patient” and 2013’s “A Thousand Times Good Night” (a wonderful film which I saw at the Chicago Film Festival last year) played Cranston’s wife for about 15 minutes. What a waste.

Or, what about Sally Hawkins? Say it isn’t so, Sal! She finishes co-starring opposite this year’s Oscar winner, Cate Blanchett, playing her blue collar sister in “Blue Jasmine,” a Woody Allen film
which Hawkins also was wonderful). So, next film: “Godzilla”? Sounds logical— (not). [Please tell me it’s not ALL about the money!]

The wonderful Japanese actor Ken Watanabe (playing Ishiro Serizawa) who was in such great films as “Inception” (2010); “Letters from Iwo Jima” (2006); “Memoirs of a Geisha” (2005); “Batman Begins” (2005) or, my personal favorite, 2003’s “The Last Samurai,” (where he played Katsumoto), now takes THIS part? Watanabe mainly looks puzzled throughout. “Blue Jasmine’s” Sally Hawkins looks like she could use a stiff drink.

And then there’s David Strathairn, who was in both “Lincoln” and “The Bourne Legacy” in 2012, the excellent made-for-TV film “Temple Grandin” in 2010 and, for me, most memorably, played Tom Cruise’s ne’er-do-well brother in “The Firm” in 1993. He is reduced to playing Admiral William Stenz, and coming up with a lame-brained plan to defend against Godzilla that sounds like a military action designed by George W. Bush and Donald Rumsfeld. Good actors are reduced to shouting lines like, “ARE WE AT FULL FUNCTION? TAKE US OFFLINE! DO IT NOW!” The poorly planned and even more poorly described or executed military defense against the mutant monster (“I guess we’re monster hunters now.”) makes “W’s” bombing of Iraq over non-existent yellow cake uranium look like genius.

Snarky remark #3: I did like this line, “It’s gonna’ send us back to the Stone Age,” because, after “Godzilla” outings on film in ’54, ’67, ’77, ’78, ’84, ’94, ’98, ‘and ’99, I thought we WERE back in the Stone Age, if we’re still watching this giant lizard terrorize the populace. (And, let’s be honest: wasn’t half the original fun watching the dubbing that never matched the actors’ mouth movements? Good cheesy fun.)

There is only ONE survivor of the train disaster (Most Creative Use of a Train since the kids’ film “Super 8”)—who is, of course, Bryan Cranston’s son, Ford Brody (played rather wanly by a British actor no one has ever heard of, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, whose previous credits consist of “Kick-Ass” in 2010 and “Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging” (2008). [It’s difficult to know what this young actor’s name is, since it is listed as Aaron Taylor-Johnson, but when you look him up on IMDB, it says Aaron Perry Johnson.]

After 14 months away at war as a Navy demolitions expert, Ford Brody, returns to Elizabeth Olsen, playing wife Elle Brody and doing a good job, and his young son (C.J. Adams) but almost immediately has to jet off to bail Dad out of a Japanese jail.

Next thing you know, we’ve got MUTO (Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organism), or, as I like to call it/ them: Mostly Uninteresting Tyrannosaurus-like Oddities. There are at least 3 of them…and there’ll be lots more if the female gets to lay her eggs. What do they eat? Why, radiation, of course. What do they look like? Hard to tell. As the old song goes (hum along): “A big tail here, a big tail there. A big foot here; a big foot there; Here a tail, there a fin, show ‘em o’er ag’in and ag’in.”

So, it isn’t until the odd monsters start fighting amongst themselves that we really get a good look at the entire clan. All I can tell you is that there is a creature very reminiscent of “Alien.” There are two flying horrors. There is a bear-like dinosaur-ish fire-breathing monster perhaps once seen swimming in Loch Ness. All of them are awkward and have trouble moving gracefully and, apparently, they don’t get along well—although why is not clear. (Watanabe murmurs: “Let them fight,” which is all the poor guy really gets to say; he mostly just looks worried.)

Here’s a line I enjoyed, from the botched military plan, proposed by Nit-wits #1 and #2: “This bomb we’re going to use makes the bomb we tried to kill it with in ’54 seem like a firecracker!” Of course, no thought given to the fact that detonating a nuclear bomb just off the coast of a major U.S. city (San Francisco) would probably not be a very good idea. Just what we need: another half-baked military fiasco, planned with no back-up Plan B, and depending on (drum roll, please), Bryan Cranston’s son, Ford Brody, who has just returned from military duty, [so he isn’t even on active duty any more, but seems intent upon trying to get himself killed in either Hawaii, San Francisco or Tokyo]. The plot’s constant carping about how Ford Brody wants to return to his wife and child made me instantly think of Brad Pitt in “World War Z.” It was Brad’s insistence on a similar plot point that made THAT movie go waaay over budget when everything had to be re-shot, and now we have the same plot again. Only, this time, no zombies. Just MUTOs.

At one point, Ford Brody (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) announces that he can defuse a bomb in 60 seconds, which would have been helpful, since detonating an atom bomb that close to San Francisco would be a not-too-bright move, but then he falls asleep onboard a boat with the bomb, so good luck with THAT plan!

Are there no bright spots?

Well, I noted that John Dykstra’s name flashed on the screen, listed as helping design the awkward creatures. If you don’t know his name, look him up on Wikipedia, because he is The Man. I learned that the original score was composed by Alexandre Desplat, with Music Supervision by Dave Jordan and that it was recorded on Sony Pictures’ Barbra Streisand Sound Stage. (Who knew Babs had her own sound stage?) I learned that the film is dedicated to Richard Fowkes and Jake Foerster, who are almost as well-known as the film’s leading man, Aaron Taylor-Johnson. I learned that we bury our nuclear waste in Nevada’s Yucca Mountain, which sounded yucky. I learned that the list of stunt people and digital special effects people probably earned more than the combined GNP of several African nations. I learned that Godzilla maybe is “the good guy,” not the “bad guy, by film’s end?” [Although, if that is the case, why all the bombing and hostility?] I learned that they nearly blew up Oakland, California, but, if memory serves from my college days at nearby Berkeley, that would mainly take out tattoo parlors. (Please: no hate mail from Oakland; it’s a joke, Son.) And, ultimately, I learned that saying, “That’s gotta’ smart!” every few moments to my husband will eventually earn me a punch in the arm.

And, as my parting snarky comment, may I utter these immortal words, “Godzilla has left the building.”