Welcome to WeeklyWilson.com, where author/film critic Connie (Corcoran) Wilson avoids totally losing her marbles in semi-retirement by writing about film (see the Chicago Film Festival reviews and SXSW), politics and books----her own books and those of other people. You'll also find her diverging frequently to share humorous (or not-so-humorous) anecdotes and concerns. Try it! You'll like it!

Category: Uncategorized Page 13 of 20

“Precious:” A Review of the Probable Oscar Nominee

I’ve put off writing about the movie “Precious” because, in some ways, I feel as though it has been rammed down our collective throats. First, there was Oprah’s big push for it. It should come as no surprise that Oprah partnered with Tyler Perry (of the “Medea” low-brow black comedy films) to executive produce the movie. I know that it was made into a very “high profile” event at the Chicago Film Festival and the tickets the night I wanted to go were $50, which included the full red carpet treatment, hors d’oeuvres and the works, even though the film wasn’t the “showpiece” of the festival (that was a forgettable Uma Thurman film).

“Precious” has all the themes that are guaranteed to make you feel depressed before you even enter the theater: teen-aged illiterate African American girl pregnant by her step-father for the second time; AIDS; physical and sexual abuse; mean-spirited teen-agers who make fun of the fat girl; a physically and verbally abusive mother. In other words, this was one of those films, like “Angela’s Ashes” or “The Hours” that you just know are not going to leave you humming a happy tune. Yes, Precious manages to maintain a more-or-less even keel with insightful thoughts like, “And in that tunnel, why the light was inside of them.” (Speaking of her teacher, Miss Rain and her life mate).

I had read “Newsweek’s” (Dec. 14, 2009, p. 13)  “My Turn” column (usually written by unknowns), and these words were penned by former First Lady Barbara Bush (or, as I like to call her, “my best friend Babs,” based on the fact that she personally presented me with a Bi-State Literacy Award in 1993):  “Recently George and I hosted a special sneak preview of ‘Precious’ in our hometown, Houston.” Mrs. Bush went on to put in a plug for the Barbara Bush Foundation for Family Literacy and then plugged the movie mercilessly, saying, “If I were to give out a homework assignment, it would be this: go see the movie.”

Gee. I’m glad there wasn’t any overt proselytizing for seeing the film by Famous People with Power, like Oprah and Babs. That would seem kind of unfair to all the other good films out there that don’t have a powerful backer, like, say, “The Athlete,” an Ethiopian film I saw at the Chicago Film Festival that was certainly a tribute to the triumph of the human spirit. But no Oprah for that one.

I idly wondered if the Barbara Bush who wrote the article in “Newsweek” and said, “But go see it—then ask yourself how you can help” was the same Barbara Bush who toured the Superdome during the horrible aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, when hordes of (largely black) residents of New Orleans who had been forced from their home by the rising floodwaters were penned up like animals for days while her son, our president, mucked around and let a major American city drown and the people in it fend as best they could with very poor response(s) from the federal or local government(s). At that time, the press reported that Barbara blithely commented that these conditions (in the Superdome) were probably better than many of them had at home, or something along those lines. (Those of you who read the papers will remember the flap Mrs. Bush’s remarks caused, and, no, I’m not making this up.)

But, all super-duper marketing moments and maneuvers aside…and it certainly appears that all stops have been pulled out on this one— this story of a young girl’s struggle to break free of her abusive mother and to step into the sunlight of her life is done well by all the actors and is well directed by Director Lee Daniels. It is, quite simply, heart-wrenching.

It opens with Clarice “Precious” Jones (Gabourey “Gabby” Sidibe) saying, “Every day I tell myself I’m gonna’ be normal. I’m gonna’ break through.” And, of course, this young 17-year-old mother of two (by film’s end) does break through…sort of. (I’d like to know where she ends up in 5 years’ time, but maybe 5 years is too long a time to plan if you’re in Precious’ shoes.)

It is 1987. Precious talks about how depressed she gets, to the point of being suicidal, saying, “Sometimes it feels like we’re just ugly black grease to be wiped away. There’s always somethin’ in my way.” But, she remains relatively upbeat. When she gets depressed she remembers, “That’s why God or whoever makes new days.”

It’s not bad enough that Precious has been repeatedly raped by her step-father, the first child she gives birth to as a result suffers from Down’s Syndrome and the child’s oh-so-sensitive and completely selfish grandmother Mary…in an Oscar-worthy turn by Mo’Nique…dubs the child “Mongo.” Constantly abusing her daughter by calling her “stupid’ and “a fat mess,” and following that up with physical abuse as she turns her teen-aged daughter into little more than an indentured servant, the plight of Precious ultimately catches the attention of the authorities.

One of the best things about the film is that all of those who are in positions of authority in the schools (teachers, social workers, etc.) are portrayed as really, sincerely trying to help Precious. That includes her teacher, Miss Rain (Paula Patton); her math teacher, Mr. Taylor, about whom she fantasizes that the two of them will fall in love and live in Westchester; her social worker, Mrs. Weiss, well-played by a very dressed-down Mariah Carey; and the male nurse, Nurse John, who helps Precious deliver Baby Number Two (Lenny Kravitz.) (Certainly an improvement over her delivery of Baby Number One on the kitchen floor with her mother kicking her in the side of the head!)

Gabourey “Gabby” Sidibe plays Precious well, but I couldn’t help but feeling that her acting triumph falls more in the category that the double amputee from World War II, (Harold Russell) did in 1946 when he played a double amputee coming home from World War II (Homer Parrish) in “The Best Years of Our Lives.” (It’s worth noting that Harold won the Oscar that year.)  Gabby looks the part; the rest falls into place.
As for Mo’Nique, however, her performance is sheer, unadulterated evil, laced with selfish menace. The screenplay by Geoffrey Hatcher, based on the book “Push” by Sapphire is a sure-fire tearjerker. There are lines like this one, spoken by the young illiterate Precious, who is exposed to her educated teachers in a more intimate environment for the first time and says she doesn’t understand a word they exchange because “They talk like TV channels I don’t watch.”

There is a song entitled “It took a long time”, performed by LaBelle that is very good. Everything works, and it becomes a serious film about the power of literacy (Precious improves from a 2.8 reading level to a 7.8 reading level, and, believe me, as the owner/operator of a Sylvan Learning Center for close to 20 years and a teacher of reading for 42 years, I know about that kind of educational progress.)

The film is almost certainly going to garner acting nominations for its female leads, and the able supporting performances (Carey, Kravitz and Patton) are just as deserving. I just wish that Oprah and Barbara and all the PTB weren’t pushing it quite so hard. It’s good enough, as a film, to stand on its own merits without having a former First Lady give us all our marching papers, telling us to go see it or having the Queen of Daytime TV turn it into the “toast of the town” (the town of Chicago), simply because she’s powerful enough that she can. (What will it be next? Shutting down Michigan Avenue and then leaving town for good?)

See the film if you want to see a well-crafted film…not because my best friend Babs said you should.

Blizzard Hits Midwest: Pictures from Des Moines and the Quad Cities

A winter storm bore down on 10 states, bringing with it snowdrifts, bitterly cold temperatures and wind gusts, in the Quad Cities, of close to 40 mph. In New Mexico, a 100 mph wind gust tore the roof off the Los Alamos police station, and in Nashville (TN) the Christmas tree in front of the state capitol was broken in half by the wind.

Parts of Interstate 80 were closed near Des Moines (Newton area) and anything west and north of us was getting hammered all day.

I ventured out on Wednesday, December 9th, and took some pictures, but first let me post some from Des Moines, which got more snow than we did:

carinsnow1 This photo represents my friend’s car, parked outside their house in Des Moines. To begin with, the car could not be driven to their house and a neighbor had to push it with his four-wheel drive vehicle. Why? Because the snow and wind was so bad in Des Moines that road crews had been pulled and their (relative) side street had not been plowed. Secondly, as luck would have it, their snowblower was broken. They eventually grabbed shovels and, with a neighbor’s help, were able to unearth the car lurking under all the snow in this picture.  And now for a few other snow shots:

Storm129057 This photo happens to have been taken of the fir tree

right next to my garage entryway. Needs Christmas

lights.

Storm129060 For this one, go back to the top of the page and take a look at “Big Blue,” as I call the 300 lb. ceramic frog that sits on the edge of our back yard ravine. Right now, “Big Blue” looks more like “Big White.” The ravine is quite beautiful, with drifts around the wrought iron lawn furniture (right in the photo) and frosted trees, but it’s really too cold to stand outside admiring it for long.

Storm129055 This one is a picture of the Celebration Belle, one of the riverboats (or riverboat replicas) that sit alongside Ben Butterworth Parkway in Moline, Illinois. The boat has a paddlewheel, and the paddlewheel was rotating vigorously in the 37 mph wind(s). I almost got hit by the car behind me as I attempted to pull into the parking lot to take this shot, because the parking lots have not been plowed and it turned out to be a hopeless project to try to get close to the boat on that side of the river. (This is taken from across the street.)

Storm129054 If you look closely at this Moline sign, you can see that    snow was still falling and the wind was in full force. The sign sits near the railroad line that cuts through town, and it establishes that this snow was, indeed, hitting the Quad Cities area of Moline, East Moline, Bettendorf (IA), Davenport (IA), and all the many other smaller cities that make up an area with the misnomer “Quad.” LeClaire (IA), up the river, was without power for several hours (from 9 a.m. on) and over 6,000 homes lost their power in the snow and wind. Jane Addams Elementary School in Moline (IL) lost its power and heat. They sent the students home but required the teachers to come to work.

I saw one woman in a red car crash into a snow plow, and I heard reports of over 260 tickets being issued in Davenport (IA), tickets telling the driver that the car must be moved from the city streets so that snow plows could operate. The tickets are $35 each. Someone calculated that the city was going to reap a windfall of $9,100 from the tickets, alone. Add to that Davenport’s disputed camera system at intersections, which send you tickets by mail if you are photographed going through the yellow portion of a red light, and the winter white becomes green for the cash-strapped city.

In the Quad Cities, the best snow removal trophy always seems to go to Silvis and East Moline. Moline: not so much. Davenport: really horrible. Rock Island: ditto. I don’t know why this is, but c’est la vie. Also, in the Homewood area of Moline…a chi chi area that predated Wildwood as the city’s finest, the streets are narrow and winding. On top of that, telephone lines and power lines were strung through the ravine/woody areas that surround the homes. Jane Addams is near Homewood. I have friends and relatives who live in Homewood. They lose their power all the time because the power lines run through the heavily wooded area and, whenever a tree branch falls on a power line during a storm like this, power goes out. I’ll bet money that this may have been a factor in the loss of Jane Addams’ power. (No other elementary schools were released, I heard on the news.

Another thing that has come to light as a result of this snowfall, which seems new, to me, is Channel 6’s “new policy” of NOT running news of cancellations in a crawl on their screen unless it is a school closing. The announcers on KWQC gave a very long (and involved) explanation and directions to rush to your computer, sign in, kiss your elbow 3 times and a lot of other complicated directions to find out if a meeting is being canceled as a result of the storm. What if, like my 91-year-old mother-in-law, you don’t HAVE a computer? What if, like me, it sounds like waaaay more work than it should be, just to find out whether the bridge game at the local meeting place has been canceled or if the musical performance at the River Music Experience is “on” or “off”? Whatever happened to informing the community? Why is it just schools, now, that are going to be allowed to have a crawl at the bottom of the screen? If I were Channel 6, which has been having some financial problems of late, I hear, I’d rethink this policy. Anyone with a clicker will change to Channels 8 or 4, which seem to still care if their viewers stay tuned in and will provide a crawl with informatino about cancellations other than schools. Think about it.

The Ten Best Movies of 2009

ChicagoOvercoat1-002The Ten Best Movies of the Year 2009…or any year…are always difficult to pick, even if you have been doing your homework and attending film festivals (Chicago, Toronto) in order to be able to see those that are most-lauded. The best of the best always seem to hit the Quad Cities late or not at all. [I remember having to drive to Iowa City to see Woody Allen’s “Bullets Over Broadway” in 1994, which limped into town months late.]

 

The films I’m going to point out have not necessarily played the Quad Cities yet. In some cases, that is because they haven’t been officially released yet.  I hope they will arrive in town soon. Film festivals give you a chance to get an “advance peek” at a few and to hear about them from the actors, directors and producers themselves.

 

Please note:  These are in no particular order.

 

“The Hurt Locker” – Director Kathryn Bigelow took newcomer Jeremy Renner, an unknown (surrounded by a cast of unknowns) who plays a hell-bent-for-leather bomb defuser in 2004 Baghdad, and delivers a film that is one of the year’s best. Intense. Riveting.

 

‘Up in the Air” – Jason Reitman directs George Clooney, Vera Farmiga and Anna Kendrick in a film about a man who travels the world firing people and collecting frequent flyer miles. As the “New York Times” put it, Clooney and Farmiga are voted “the couple most likely to have an argument and get off on it.” I have a vested interest in seeing the film do well. The music for the film was selected by Rick Clark, my daughter’s mentor in Nashville for three years of her college classes in Music Business at Belmont University and she often assisted him with his selection(s) and with his Sirius radio show. (Clark also advised on the music for “Juno”). A sure-fire Oscar contender.

 

“The Informant” – Matt Damon played two strong roles this year, and this one, as a midwestern mid-level employee of ADM who turns informant for the F.B.I. was terrific. His turn in “Invictus” (a Clint Eastwood-directed film with Morgan Freeman undoubtedly bound for Oscar nominations) as a soccer player helping Nelson Mandela bring South Africa kicking and screaming into the post-apartheid period will undoubtedly score big in March as well. [Since the latter hasn’t played here yet, just remember, on March 7th: “I told you so.”]

 

“Up” – Films with the word “up” in the title did well in 2009. (Next year “down”?) This is the Pixar animated film about the widower who attaches balloons to his house and goes…well…up…with a young stowaway aboard. I saw it in 3D in a theater on Sunset Boulevard with a live Disney show preceding it; the film’s a touching bit of animated magic.

 

500 Days of Summer” – I was on my way to a showing of “The Cove” (a likely nominee for Best Documentary Oscar dealing with the trapping and killing of dolphins) and stumbled into the wrong theater. I stayed to see this romantic comedy. Joseph Gordon-Leavitt and Zooey Deschanel are young lovers, but the film’s ultimate message seems to be that there IS more than one perfect “love” for us if we just keep an open mind and a positive outlook. The “breaking-into-dance” scene, alone, makes it one of the more imaginative film treatments at the movies this year.

 

“Precious” – Undeniably gut-wrenching. Haven’t seen a film more depressing since “The Hours” or “Angela’s Ashes,” but it is powerful stuff. Oprah is promoting it Big Time, and it’s bound to garner nominations, probably for its unknown star, Gabriel Gabby Sidibe and others. Strong performances from Mo’Nique, Mariah Carey and Lenny Kravitz contribute and the film has generated major Oscar buzz. [Tickets in Chicago, where it premiered, went for $50, minimum].

 

Red Cliff – This is a film by the great John Woo. I wandered in not expecting much and found a film that makes “Braveheart,” “Spartacus” and “The Gladiator,” all rolled into one, look like a square dance. Back in top form after years of trying to fit into the Hollywood studio cookie-cooker mold with films like “Mission Impossible II “ and “Face/Off”, Woo returns to his native land and does this ancient Chinese story proud. (see www.weeklywilson.com and/or www.associatedcontent.com for complete review). It’s very long, and, yes, it has sub-titles, but it’s really a breath-taking film achievement.

 

“An Education” – Peter Svaarsgard’s film about a May-December romance is garnering much buzz for the female lead, Carey Mulligan as Jenny. (For those who care, Ms. Mulligan is supposedly Shia LeBouef’s off-screen girlfriend of the moment).

 

2012:  Sure, it’s CG generated, but it’s terrific audience fun. The actors are less important than the special effects, but John Cusack, Amanda Peet and Woody Harrelson don’t disappoint in this film about the end of the world in 2012. Woody Harrelson, this year alone, played Charlie Frost in 2012, Tallahassee in the fun flick “Zombieland” (they’re already making “Zombieland 2”, and Captain Tony Stone in “The Messenger.”

 

Toss-Up: “Brothers” and/or “The Messenger”: These films have similarities. Saw “The Messenger” in Chicago, with Woody Harrelson and Ben Foster. Foster was there, in person, answering questions after the screening. “The Messenger,” like John Irving’s novel “A Prayer for Owen Meany” deals with the soldiers who must give the bad news of the death of a loved one to military families. Co-starring as the woman getting the bad news is the Oscar-nominated Samantha Morton, who was so good in “Minority Report” and as Sarah in the 2002 film “In America.” “Brothers,” starring Jake Gylenhall, Tobey Maguire and Natalie Portman, explores the damage to the psyche that war creates. Jake and Tobey are brothers, one a screw-up, one a war hero. Fine performances, also, from Sam Shepherd as Hank Cahill, the father who always favored Tobey, and Mare Winningham as Elsie Cahill. The little girls are great. Taylor Geare as Maggie Cahill melts your heart in her scenes, and her little sister Cassie, played by Carrie Mulligan, is good as well. When Tobey returns from having been a POW (briefly) in Afghanistan, he cannot get it out of his head that his brother (Jake Gylenhall) and his wife (Natalie Portman) have been sleeping together. He is also consumed with guilt over his actions while held prisoner and something’s got to give. He comes home a totally different individual than when he left. Problems ensue Tobey McGuire turns in a riveting Ocar-caliber performance, the best of his career. The movie was filmed in New Mexico.

 

Honorable Mention:  I loved “Jennifer’s Body,” despite the gore, the new film scripted by Diablo Cody (of “Juno”) starring Megan Fox. Haven’t seen “Coraline” but hear it’s a likely nominee come March in some categories. Likewise, haven’t had a child to take with me to “Where the Wild Things Are.” Looking forward to “The Road” (Not yet released) – which looks like it will make a better film vehicle for Viggo Mortenson than the Cormac McCarthy book was a read, as it takes us into post-Apcalyptic America. “Avator’ (James Cameron returns on 12/18). I liked “Public Enemies” with Johnny Depp, Marion Cotillard and Christian Bale in a Michael Mann-directed crime romance, because Johnny finally looked more like “People” magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” than he has in many of his screen outings. Also good: “Star Trek” with Zachary Quinto, Chris Pine and Eric Bana, “I Love You, Man” with surprisingly fresh performances from Paul Rudd and Jason Segel as buddies who bond, and the year’s most-watched comedy, “The Hangover,” good stupid fun in the “Animal House” tradition. I’m still waiting to see “Shutter Island,” the Martin Scorsese-directed film with Leonardo DeCaprio. (Where did it go?) Likewise, want to see “The Invention of Lying” (Ricky Gervais) and Sam Mendes’ “Away We Go.” (So many movies; so little time.)

 

A Trip Down Music Lane: Campaign, 2004

(* This report, written in October of 2004 about the Vote for Change concerts that various artists undertook during the 2004 Presidential campaign in support of John Kerry and John Edwards. The concert was in Ames. I am reprinting it from www.blogforiowa.com, where it is in the archives, because it is pretty funny.)
Connie submits this report from her cross-state Democratic Road Trip with “the daughter.”

The daughter and I returned from our SIX-HOUR concert about 1:30 a.m. last night.  I cannot remember a concert where I drew Snoopy on the left ankle of the young man behind me (in red ink) and then, on his right ankle, played tic-tac-toe with my daughter.  (It was a draw.) Plus, I sprayed BOTH of the young man’s feet with Burberry perfume (from my purse) since they were really smelly feet, which he insisted on parking on the arms of MY chair. At one point, he grabbed my notebook and wrote in it, “I have no idea what you are doing here. I can’t see sh-t, but keep this. Thanks and bye.” Earlier, I heard him and his friends discussing how I had “probably remembered every President back to Lincoln.” The sad thing is, they are right. He kids me about “growing up in the seventies” and wants to know if I ever “smoked reefer.” I feel flattered that he thinks I “grew up in the 70’s.”  That makes me much younger than I am, so I am enjoying that comment. As for the reefer question: allergic, you know. Only contact highs. I respond, “Yes, but I never inhaled,” thinking he will get the joke. He does not.

In the parking lot afterwards, while waiting for the cars to move out to the road, the car ahead of us contains a fake snake. One of the young college men in the party puts the snake between his legs and gyrates (like a Chippendale Dancer).The snake looks very real, so I roll my car windows up. The daughter, who is beginning to sound a little like Typhoid Mary, says, “Why are you rolling up the windows?” I pretend it is for her health. It is really because I fear that the kid with the snake might gyrate over to us and do God-knows-what.

Neil Young (of the old days…Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young) comes onstage at one point with the Dave Matthews Band and plays (a “surprise” performance). My notes, at that point: “They are holding this guitar note for so long that pain will soon ensue. They are all watching Neil, for a ‘sign.’ He has, apparently, forgotten the sign. I am beginning to think that the “sign” is that your ears begin to bleed.  Neil looks like Howard Hughes on a bad day. He is engaged in some sort of guitar death throe. Some blonde woman comes onstage with him, but I don’t think anyone has a clue who she is (I know I don’t). I ask, but the boys behind me have passed out, and nobody else can hear me over the guitar punishment. Yikes!

The new camera (Olympus digital), which was fully charged before the concert, only ran for 2 hours. The concert lasted 6. [Thank God for my trusty little Canon]. The daughter got pictures of “My Morning Jacket,” “Jurassic5,” and “Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals,” but where was my digital camera when the Main Act came onstage? Why, dead, of course. As I fear I will be after this six-hour marathon.

At one point, Ben Harper plays a song called “Burn One Down,” which either has to do with forest fires or smoking marijuana. Other lyrics I hear, but don’t know: “Kick your b-tt.” “Plastic.” “F— the pResident.” “I always have to steal my kisses from you.” “This is a song about freedom. There’s some people who smoke a lot of weed, cause some of those [bleep] haven’t gotten off the couch for two years. Then, that [bleep] wanders out in to the street holdin’ his remote and getting his groove on. If you ain’t where you want to be in your life, put the bong down, Homey.” This brings on “Burn One Down,” which seems to involve a haze of illegal smoke. “Your choice is who you choose to be. We are gonna’ burn one down.”

Good to see that our college students are becoming more articulate every day. Gives one hope. I hope they don’t burn anything down while I am inside it.

Back to lyrics: “No lives for bu—sh–.”  “He offered life in sacrifice, so others could go on.” Neil Young sings (if you can call it that), “It was just a legend. War was never known. The people were together, and they lifted many stones.” I’m thinking this might be “Along the Watchtower,” but I really am not “into Neil Young. He looks like the Crypt-Keeper, from television, at this point in his career. None of the young kids there know who he is, or who the old blonde with him is. Then there is something about dancing across the water. Neil seems somewhat uncoordinated, so I don’t think he will be doing any dancing across water or any other surface any time soon. It is as though Bigfoot has been taking guitar lessons and has been unleashed upon us.

I know three songs all night long,  including the Dave Matthews Band encore song “Too Much” from the “Crash” album; “Keep on Rockin’ in the USA” and a version of Buffalo Springfield’s, “There’s somethin’ happenin’ here; Stop, Baby! What’s that sound? Everybody look what’s goin’ down.” This is repeated about 20 times. I remember it was used in a documentary about the Vietnam War that I used to show my 7th grade students.  At one point, trying to be friendly, I say, to the black guy next to me, “I took her to her first Dave Matthews Band concert when he had “Under the Table and Dreaming” out. She was ten.” The guy says, “Oh. Yeah. I remember that concert. I passed out halfway through it.” O………K.

Now, Neil plays TAPS on his guitar. Why? We don’t know. Dave and the others are sort of glassy-eyed, mesmerized, staring at Neil. This concert has lasted a Looooong time. Someone please make Neil quit!!! The drunk guys from St. Joseph’s, Missouri, or Joplin, Missouri, have all passed out, which is when and why I draw Snoopy on one of their ankles.

The girl ahead of me is wildly flailing her arms like a windmill. Too much caffeine, I’m thinking. This girl is known, henceforth, as “Hyperactive Girl,” or HG. Every time I try to take a shot, she pumps her fist in the air just as I shoot. I have a lot of photos of her fist(s).

As usual, I attempt to pick out “bobbleheads” in the arena, which are people who are making absolute fools of themselves. My God! This must be the Bobblehead Convention. The violin guy onstage is going nuts, and the guy wearing the Number One jersey with the page boy bob haircut is doing something that I can only describe as NOT likely to  impress anyone.

The drunk or stoned guy behind me (“Max”, says his NAME TAG) keeps trying to bump my arm as I take notes, and, at one point, he actually tries to relieve me of my notebook. But I’m too quick for him.

Ms. Hyperactive is now resorting to rabbit-like punching in the air. The guy she is with is very tall and looks like the one who once played Claire’s boyfriend on “Six Feet Under.” He is wearing a shirt that says “America’s Music Festival to End All Festivals” while his girlfriend has on a “Farm Aid, September 18th” shirt. I fear for Ms. Hyperactive’s safety, as she is so out-of-control that I think she is going to fall over the balcony railing any minute.

Neil (Young) is doing some kind of geriatric jig.  Someone make Neil quit. Please.

Posted to:Main Page

Connie Wilson Humor

R.I.P, Guido..and Good Luck Riding those Harleys to the Funeral

Unknown-grave-marker-8-p.-27I don’t normally regale AC with stories of “personalities I have known and loved,” but I can’t help but comment on an obituary that recently appeared in a local paper, (which shall remain nameless.) It provided much food for thought. I mean no disrespect in my comments. I am apologizing in advance, so you know that someone will take me to task but remember: the names here (for the most part) are fictional.

 

 I was sorry to see that a former student passed away at a relatively young age. (Defining “relatively young” is difficult. For me, it is anything under 100, but the former student was 52.)

 

What I remember about this student from my very first year of teaching is that, when I…. a brand-new teacher struggling to come up with creative writing assignments…. put 6 possible theme suggestions on the board, taken from a Scholastic Books Teachers’ Guide book I had been given, for the year’s first writing assignment, they all incensed the deceased. The deceased (well, NOW he’s deceased; at the time he was very much alive and kicking) protested that writing on ANY of these topics was “an invasion of my privacy.” Then he marched off to the Principal’s office.

 

The topics in the Scholastic Teachers’ Guide included a number of situational ethics ideas, which someone other than me who wrote for Scholastic Books had thought up. The topics seemed to make him uncomfortable. Here’s one example: “If you knew that your best friend had cheated on a test you were both taking, what would you do, if anything?”

 

 There was also the hoary theme assignment (please no “hoary” jokes here), “What did you do over your summer vacation?” (I was really struggling and only 21 years old at the time to come up with interesting writing assignments, so bear with me.)

 

But nothing suited the young man, who protested the assignment by marching to the Principal’s office to loudly complain about the theme assignment, and I was then, of course, called on the carpet by the administration (although not as quickly as today’s teachers would be. Now, it is instantaneous to side with Junior and teachers are constantly hauled in to defend anything and everything! In my day (1969-1985) the administration was slightly more supportive. I explained why I had made the assignment and showed the Principal the book from Scholastic that he had given his first-year teacher to use.  What he said to the student I do not know. Whether he wrote the paper I do not remember.

 

My take on this protest, from the vantage point of decades later: said student was trying to get out of writing a paper. Period. He had 6 choices and one of them was as tame as they come, unless he had spent his summer hijacking cars.

 

 What I DO remember about the family and the children I taught (yes, there were 3 of them) later, his sister was shot in the butt in a “drive-by shooting” (pellet-gun) in a nearby city—okay, it was Rock Island, Illinois— very late on a Friday night. She was 12 at the time. For that matter, the deceased, Guy or “Guido,” if you prefer, was 12 at the time, too, and was with her at the time of the shooting. They claimed they were “caught in the crossfire” of a gang-related shooting.

 

 Later, in a MacKenzie Phillips moment, the sister accused her father of incest, but then recanted before the in-house authorities would have had to notify the Family Services.   These anecdotes may give you an idea of what I was dealing with in trying to teach English to 7th and 8th graders as a first-year teacher. (Five of my former students were on Death Row when former Governor George Ryan abolished it, just before going to jail himself for the drivers’ license scandal in Illinois.)

 

 

But what really struck me about this obituary I will reprint pretty much as it appeared, (minus the real surname(s) and some of the first names, of course.) “Guy was a commercial fisherman and worked construction in the Florida area. He never married. Since he loved living in Florida, and all his good friends are here, the family has decided to celebrate his life by riding Harleys to Florida next summer (written in early September) and chartering a boat to spread his ashes at sea.”
Every single member of the immediate family had a nickname, duly noted in the obituary.  Furthermore, the entire family (men, women and children, are going to drive Harley Davidson motorcycles all the way to Florida (from the Midwest) for the funeral? Is this a cost-saving measure? (No casket, ergo, no funeral fees?)

 

 I think of my 91-year-old mother-in-law on the back of a Harley. It just does not seem like a good plan. She fell down last week while walking across her lawn and got a concussion. Is everyone in the Vandella family young?  I wonder what would happen if my mom or my husband’s mom or…perish the thought, me… were to try to come to a family funeral several states away on the back of a Harley, especially one driven by the individuals mentioned in the rest of the article? Would they risk being shot in the butt by a pellet-gun…or worse? 

 

Is it even legal to scatter someone’s ashes at sea in this day of “let’s clean up our oceans” and anti-pollution sloganeering? [Don’t know; can’t tell you.]
But let’s read on, (with some of the first names and the last name definitely changed to protect the identity of the family):

 

Guy “Guido”Vandella, 52, of  (fill in your own Florida city here) passed away at Solaris Innovative Hospice Care on  (Fill in date of your choosing).

 

Per his request, cremation followed. (This was followed by information about where memorials could be made.)

 

“Guy was born on (fill in your own date here) in (fill in your own small Illinois city here). He was never married. He was a commercial fisherman, worked construction, and loved living in Florida. Since his friends are there, the family had decided to celebrate his life by riding Harleys to Florida next summer (written in balmy September, mind you) and will charter a boat to scatter his ashes at sea.”

 

This gave me pause. Especially when the survivors’ names followed:

 

Amy “Rose” Vandella (sister); Beth “Sissy” Vandella; John “Johnny Boy” Vandella; Kenny “The Hammer” Vandella, Brooklyn “J.K” Vandella, Myrna, “Big Momma” Vandella, and, my own personal favorite, Judy “Butch” Vandella.

 

Does anyone wonder why I quit teaching in this district? More importantly, does anyone want to be a fly on the wall when this family group gets on their Harleys, en masse, (come spring), and starts the trek to Florida from Illinois?  Does anyone, (besides me) wonder why they don’t ride their motorcycles down there NOW, since it has been unseasonably warm and balmy? Why wait several months? Is the family motto “Better late than never”?

 

I know one thing: If I were going to this funeral, I would not want to be riding shotgun on Judy “Butch” Vandella’s Harley.

Traveling to Tennessee

StaceyGrad-010staceyinhatWe’re here in Nashville, Tennessee, awaiting the Belmont University graduation ceremony to take place on Friday, August 14th, at 7:30 p.m. The daughter will graduate (after 4 years) with a degree in Business, with a Music emphasis. So far, we’ve given her half of her presents and taken her out to dinner. The boyfriend (Austin) went to dinner with us and Austin’s parents are in town, so we may have the opportunity to meet them, as well. It’s sultry and warm here. We saw two serious accidents on the highways while driving here.

Bull News from Pamplona

From “the running of the bulls” in Pamplona comes the news that a charging bull gored a young Spanish man to death Friday at the San Fermin festival.  It was the first such fatality in nearly 15 years. Nine other people were also injured, but 27-year-old Daniel Jimeno Romero from Alcala de Henares (outside Madrid), who was vacationing with his parents and girlfriend, will not be running with the bulls—or anything else—ever again.  He was gored in the neck and lungs by a rogue bull named Capuchino which separated from the pack. The festival ends tuesday.

Chicago Cemetery Scandal at Burr Oak

Unknown-grave-marker-8-p.-27A huge flap arose in Chicago, Illinois on July 10th over Burr Oak Cemetery, which had been double-selling burial, plots and, often digging up buried corpses and simply dumping them in a field. The cemetery was owned by absentee owners who live in Texas, (according to Channel 7, ABC affiliate, whose reporter, Paul Meincke, once reported in the Quad Cities for Channel 4, the CBS affiliate…actually the Channel 7 source said Arizona, but it appears that Texas is accurate). The Tribune reported that the owner since 2001 was Melvin Bryant of Richardson, Texas, President of Perpetual Holdings of Illinois, but his part in the sale was downplayed on the news, with blame falling more at the local level.  Two famous people buried in the cemetery were civil rights martyr Emmet Till and singer Dinah Washington.

The four people who have been arrested and charged and are being held on large bonds ($250,000 and $200,000). They include the woman who ran the cemetery and 3 employees: Keith Nicks, Terrence Nicks and Maurice Daily. Former cemetery manager Carolyn Towns, 49, foreman Keith Nicks, 45, and dump-truck operator Terrence Nicks, 39, are all of Chicago, and back-hoe operator Maurice Dailey, 59, is from Robbins. They were each charged with dismembering a human body, a Class X felony and face up to 30 years in prison.(www.chicagobreakingnews.com).  Other news reports indicate that it appears that 2 other employees of the cemetery alerted authorities to the crimes being indicated; they are identified only as Employee “A” and Employee “B”.

The images on the evening news were of distraught relatives of those buried in the cemetery showing up in droves, wandering about trying to find evidence of their deceased loved ones. One African American woman showed a small postcard she had received, which, she said, notified her that a second body had been buried atop her mother’s casket in the same grave plot. (Apparently, this did not ring an alarm bell for the grieving relative.)

A hot line was set up for inquiries from out-of-state. In fact, on television, a request was made that relatives not show up at the cemetery at all, as the situation is so uncertain, with potentially more than 300 bodies missing, that it will take months, (if not longer), to sift through the remains of previously buried people whose remnants are being found in a variety of unmarked mass graves with remains even found alongside the roadside of the remote field. Experts who helped identify skeletal remains in mass graves in the Balkans were being brought in to try to help identify the bodies.

Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett and Ed McMahon Die Within Hours of One Another

Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett and Ed McMahon, three icons of the entertainment business, died within hours of one another. Only Jackson’s death came as a shock to the world. He supposedly died of cardiac arrest, having been worked on by his private physician at his rented house near the hospital and by medical personnel in the emergency room, who pronounced him dead at 2:26 p.m.Michael Jacksonworked on him over an hour, pronouncing him dead at 2::26 p.m. He had taken a prescription medication, but the announcement also seemed to indicate that his personal physician was with him in his rented home at the time he collapsed from apparent cardiac arrest. That doctor also attempted to revive Jackson, unsuccessfully.

It’s hard to know what to say about the death of a pop icon who rose—and fell—so far. The talented little boy who sang with his brothers as “The Jackson Five” had disappeared many years ago, buried under numerous botched plastic surgeries and aberrant lifestyle eccentricities that had him inviting underage children into his bed, cavorting with a chimp named Bubbles, founding a veritable circus at Neverland Ranch, complete with a zoo and rides, buying the Elephant Man’s bones, and sleeping in a hyperbaric chamber. In the end, Michael Jackson, like all of us, proved to be mortal, no more immune to death’s reach than a Kennedy or a Beatle or a President.

May all three of these icons of our culture rest in peace.

Chicago “Letters to the Editor” Decry Parking Meter Sale

The backlash from Chicago residents against the privatization of the Chicago parking meters and lots continues.

In the June 21, Sunday, Chicago Tribune, a parking poll by Tribune reporter Mark Caro (conducted online) had the following results. In response to the question, “Are you spending less time at entertainment venues because of the cost of parking?” 91.4% of readers said yes and only 8.6% said no.

Then came the irate letters from actual Chicago residents.

Vicki Quade, who creates and produces the “Late Nite Catechism” and other “nun” comedies at the Royal George Theatre wrote as follows: “My shows run about 1 hour and 45 minutes, with intermission.  That means that the patrons must run out at intermission to feed the meters along Halsted or Clybourn.  An additional problem is that my actresses also have to run out and feed the meters!  And they’re dressed in a full nun’s habit.  Yes, patrons are affected, and we need those patrons to keep the business of entertainment in Chicago alive.  But I also am concerned about the performers, the stage managers, the ushers, the box office staff…the people who bring you that entertainment and don’t often have the kind of funds to valet their cars six, seven, eight times a week or pay outrageous parking rates in the private garage complexes.”

Another Chicago resident, Brian Suste wrote:  “If we cannot find the restaurant in the suburbs, we go to the city, valet, and leave town immediately.  No more leisurely shopping on Michigan Avenue or walking from the Loop to North Michigan Avenue for us.  Between the cost of parking and the exorbitant tax rate, we are shopping in the suburbs.  It is sad, because we love Chicago.”

Nancy Krauss of Rockford wrote, “We love Chicago and have family in the suburbs and for people like us public transit is not an option.  We drive in for events as often as our budget allows, and with the parking costs skyrocketing, the number of visits will be fewer.  We have tickets to take a grandchild to ‘Mary Poppins,” but are debating our traditional visit to Taste of Chicago.  Please continue to hold the mayor’s feet to the fire on this issue.  We can’t even vote against him!”

Said Robert Hirsch, a Lyric Opera fan, “Mayor Richard Daley’s terrible decision and LAZ Parking’s ridiculous rates and 24-hour meter schedule are going to greatly hurt Lyric Opera and the downtown restaurants.  The great ‘Live from the Met’ operas for $20 with free mal parking will take away thousands of Lyric subscribers.  All Chicago restaurants and theaters will suffer.”

Linda Catalano put it this way:  “I definitely make many of my entertainment decisions based on parking costs and options.  I avoid Chicago movies if I can help it—it’s just too easy to park in the suburbs for free.  I could easily take the CTA but don’t feel it’s safe in the evening.  Easy for the mayor to say take the CTA, but he’s got a chauffeur, and I think he’s out of touch with reality.”
To get in touch with the reality of the outrage of Chicago residents over both the latest parking fiasco (reported on in a previous article, which was rejected by AC after I researched it until 4 a.m., because I’m too old to know how to “work” the hyper-links well enough), you can read all these and more on page 5 of the Father’s Day issue (June 21) of the Chicago Tribune, by Mark Caro, Tribune reporter.

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