Weekly Wilson - Blog of Author Connie C. Wilson - Welcome to WeeklyWilson.com, where author/film critic Connie (Corcoran) Wilson avoids totally losing her marbles in semi-retirement by writing about film (see the Chicago Film Festival reviews and SXSW), politics and books----her own books and those of other people. You'll also find her diverging frequently to share humorous (or not-so-humorous) anecdotes and concerns. Try it! You'll like it!

Beth Emhoff (Gwyneth Paltrow) is Patient Zero in “Contagion,” the new movie about a viral epidemic/pandemic, that is directed by Steven Soderbergh. Why Beth has to have a backstory of infidelity is something I cannot explain and, given her brief time on film, I don’t feel the need to shout “Spoiler Alert!.” The rest of the film seems to pay no attention to that plot point (and multiple others), either. Why we had to be told that Gwyneth would die in the trailer for the film is another good question. (Never a good idea to give away all the good stuff in the trailer.)

It doesn’t matter, in the overall scheme of things, because Soderbergh and writer Scott Z Burns still do a good job of ratcheting up the tension of this all-star cast in a movie with the tag-line, “Don’t talk to anyone. Don’t touch anyone.” (This is my normal state, so that part did not panic me.) The scenes of a panicked public gone mad and the adolescent romance between Mitch’s (Damon’s) daughter and her boyfriend reassure us that humanitarianism is not dead and things will return to normal…eventually.

Cast

The cast includes such luminaries as Kate Winslet as Dr. Erin Mears, who helps fight the outbreak of the mysterious virus; Matt Damon as Beth’s husband Mitch; Laurence Fishbourne as Dr. Ellis Cheever, head CDC operative; Marion Cotillard as Dr. Leonara Orantes, a French physician assisting with the fight; Elliott Gould as Dr. Ian Sussmann, who is an eccentric lone wolf researcher; Jude Law as Alan Krumwiede, an aggressive blogger; and Bryan Cranston (“Breaking Bad”) as Lyle Haggerty, representing the government. [I couldn’t help myself: I half-expected Cranston’s character to offer the suffering natives some crystal meth when things got really bleak. Which they did almost immediately.]

Origins of the Epidemic

Beth Emhoff travels to Hong Kong and, because “Somewhere in the world, the wrong pig met up with the wrong bat,” her meal in a casino has unintended consequences not only for her, but for the entire world. Lines like, “It’s hard to know what it is without knowing where it came from” and “It kills every cell we put it in” are not encouraging. Rhesus monkeys must endure additional indignities in order to save mankind (“First we shoot them into space and them we shoot them full of a virus.”) Ultimately, as the plot has it, “We have a virus with no antidote.” This is not good and every cough, whether on celluloid or in the crowded theater, resonates with the audience. It especially resonated for me when my seat mate’s wife said he had been feeling sick all week and the tattooed seatmate began wiping his dripping nose on his hand. (eeeuuuwww).

Historical Basis for Epidemic Plot : Spanish Flu, Swine Flu, Polio, Bird Flu

I used to listen to my mother talk about the Spanish flu epidemic of 1918, which killed 1% of the world’s population. Mom was born in 1907, so she was 11 years old when some class members in her small school in Hospers, Iowa, failed to show up for class. When she went to her friends’ houses to find out where they were that day, she learned that they would never again be coming to school. Or anywhere else. The youngsters had died of the deadly Spanish flu. Paranoia (and school closings) mounted as the death toll rose.

I also remember the closing of public swimming pools in the days before Jonas Salk discovered the polio vaccine in 1955, a time when I was approximately the same age as my mother during the Spanish flu scare. My best friend’s mother died of polio after lingering in an iron lung. Neighbors would not even make contact with the victim’s family at the door, but simply left the funeral food on the front step and ran. Even as recently as “W’s” administration in 2009, there were swine flu concerns, and the H5N1 bird flu still remains dangerous and capable of causing a pandemic, according to scientists.

Societal Breakdown: Crowd Psychology

The most interesting part of the film, for me, was how society breaks down when faced with a crisis of this proportion. It becomes every man (or woman) for him or her self. Even the do-gooders (nuns, nurses, volunteers) are overrun and pushed aside as food runs short and the supply of what may (or may not) be a palliative measure—a homeopathic treatment known as Forsythia—runs short. It took me right back to my Sociology classes and the studies on crowd psychology.

Political Echoes of Strident Tea Party-like Activists

In today’s climate, I couldn’t help but think of the strident followers of some political elements, those who think that “he who yells the loudest wins the argument” and are overly proud of their membership in the NRA. I could really imagine those individuals leading the charge to break in to pharmacies to take the drug everyone thinks will make their family safe, or launching aggressive measures to find out where the doctors (who get the drug first) might live, in order to break in and steal same. All this plays out in the film.

Humanitarianism Prevails

One nice humanitarian touch was the “regular guy” played by Oscar-nominee John Hawkes (Uncle Teardrop in “Winter’s Bone,” whose birth name in Alexandria, Minnesota was John Perkins). Hawkes’ character has an ADD son and asks the head doctor (Laurence Fishbourne as Dr. Ellis Cheever) for advice, early on. Cheever says it is out of his area of expertise, but he knows it’s treatable and he can recommend someone in the field. Later, Cheever will personally see that the boy is inoculated. Humanitarianism lives on.

Nevertheless, we are told by Bryan Cranston’s character that Dr. Cheever is going be brought up on charges because he let his new bride in on a secret: the severity of the epidemic. He urged her to evacuate Chicago (which is embargoed) despite being sworn to secrecy. He wanted her to make a run for Atlanta, where the CDC (Center for Disease Control) is located. The scripted line is, “They’re looking for a scapegoat. You just made it easy.”

It is little old meth-maker Bryan Cranston, the government stooge, who informs Cheever that his neck is still on the chopping block, late in the film. Again, this plot strand was about as needless and disconnected to the plot’s thrust as the personal information about Gwyneth which was shared early in the film. I write fiction. I know how it goes. You insert an idea, intending to integrate that plot thread later on, but other things intrude, get in the way, or seem more important and the planted seed never grows or fluorishes. That was my biggest complaint about the film: dropped plot conceits that are never fully fleshed out or finished off.

Verdict

The film is otherwise quite riveting, intense and educational. It is hard to care too deeply about characters who drift through as quickly as pedestrians caught in a giant revolving door, but the main idea (i.e., man’s vulnerability to forces outside his control) sticks with you, propels the film and holds your interest for the duration. After all, it’s almost cold and flu season. In fact, when I sat down next to that tattooed man with 3 others and his wife leaned around and said, “Don’t get too close to him. He’s been sick” it put me on high alert. I still don’t know if this was her idea of a joke (she seemed serious), but watching him subsequently blow his nose on his hand (!) didn’t do much for my popcorn-eating and I refused to move my paper cup full of Coca Cola to the left cup holder nearest this stranger. From that point on, every cough, every sniffle was part of my experience of the film.

A third plot point that disrupted the smooth flow of the movie was Jude Law’s character of Alan Krumwiede. First of all, with a surname like “Krumwiede,” chances are that Jude isn’t going to be “the good guy,” although, at first, we think he is. He is an aggressive blogger who breaks the story and helps it go wide before the government would like word to get out. I found Jude Law somewhat extraneous in “Road to Perdition” and he is again extraneous here, except to point out that, in times of peril, there are people who profit mightily from the misfortune of others and it has ever been thus.

n this day and age of Wiki Leaks and Julian Assange, Jude is Julian. Unfortunately, that is another sub-plot that does not seem all that well-integrated into the main storyline. It almost seems that the script wants Jude to function as the “surprise twist” in a plot that is otherwise pretty straightforward in showing how doctors are not “Jesus in a lab coat” and in explaining in riveting detail how a virus like MEV1, (the fictional virus of the film), could well cause widespread death and disruption in a very short time, spreading to as many as one in 12 with 25 to 30% attrition by Day 26.

Earlier Film Precedents

The film is light years better than Dustin Hoffman stumbling around as Colonel Sam Daniels in 1995’s “Outbreak” (he looked ridiculous in that suit) and is better compared to 1971’s “The Andromeda Strain,” which had Michael Crichton as one of the screenwriters. Soderbergh vaulted to stardom at age 26 with “Sex, Lies and Videotape” (featuring a then very thin James Spader) and regained his early form with 1998’s “Out of Sight.” In 2000, he earned a Best Director Oscar for “Traffic” and also directed Julia Roberts to her Oscar in “Erin Brockovich.”

Soderbergh Speaks

It’s been 10 years since “Ocean’s Eleven” and Soderbergh, who suggested to Colin Covert of the Minneapolis Star Tribune that after his next 3 films he is going to take some major time off. However, he wanted to do “Contagion” because, he said, “It felt ‘zeitgeisty’ to me in the same way that ‘Traffic’ did when we were making it…that there was something in the air. In this case, literally.” The political tone of angry mobs in this film is not coincidental. As Covert said in his review of the film, “‘Contagion’ plays like a parable of a stricken body politic. The film describes an America where confusion and fear explode when things get crazy, where ordinary people struggle to survive in a society coming apart.”

So, see it for its medical information and pay attention the backstory and try not to criticize overmuch the lost thread plots that seemed like good ideas when they were first thrown into the mix.

Chicago: A Typical Day in the City, September 7, 2011

By Connie Wilson

On September 8, 2011

In Humor and Weird Wilson-isms, Local, Pop Culture, travel

I signed myself up for a class at the “Tribune” building on Facebook. The class began at 9:00 A.M. , so I rode the bus to the 400 block of North Michigan Avenue and entered the impressive-looking old stone building.

The building has inscriptions on the walls that reflect the laws as they pertain to freedom of speech and freedom of the press. I was met at the door by a young girl who directed me to go “down the hallway and turn left and you’ll see a Welcome sign.” Unfortunately, she failed to mention the room number and that I had to take an elevator to the basement, as well. Therefore, I found myself standing in front of a nice sign on an easel with absolutely no idea of where to go next.

At that point a very nice gentleman in a suit and tie took it upon himself to attempt to guide me to the correct room, which had never been mentioned in any literature. We went back to the lobby, but the welcome girl was gone. We asked at the desk and that yielded little, so he took me to the 7th floor (wrong) and, again, back to the lobby. There, we learned that I would have to take the elevator to the basement, which had never been mentioned in any directions. (My guide suggested I write this down on the “appraisal” form following the class.)

The class went about as I had anticipated and we were released to “the real world” about noon. I knew the statue of Marilyn Monroe was right next door, so I took the pictures you see below of the Marilyn statue that is all the rage in Chicago this summer season (replacing the giant eyeball that held that distinction last year.)

After enjoying the Marilyn phenomenon—complete with tourists lined up to pose under the giant statue—I caught a bus to travel the rest of the way down the Miracle Mile to the 900 block (or so) where Water Tower Place is located. I had thought I might be able to walk it (from the 400 block) but thought better of it now that I had paraphernalia from my morning class. As I got off the bus, I began walking in the wrong direction, as it turned out. Nothing looked familiar and I was standing on a street corner waiting for the light to change when I noticed there was a policeman next to me, so I asked him, “How much farther is Water Tower Place? He laughed and said, “It’s 2 blocks back THAT way.” I turned around and began walking towards my destination, but, as I neared the Hancock Building, I heard the unmistakable sounds of “live” music being played in the courtyard outside the Cheesecake Factory and decided this would make a far better lunch venue than the interior of Water Tower Place.

My waiter, Peter Weaver, was very nice and obligingly posed with the 3D glasses I had found in my coat pocket while walking to the venue. They were left over from a Peter Gabriel concert (in 3D) that was shown at the Icon Theater on Roosevelt at 7:30 p.m. the previous evening. I only know one Peter Gabriel song (“In Your Eyes” from the movie “Say Anything”) but I always liked that one song, so I went. There were many unusual effects for the audience, as during a song called “Red Rain” when the rain appeared to be coming down on the audience and the idea of Peter holding a small mirror and reflecting back the lights on the audience via this hand mirror, which was weird. There was a full orchestra backing his vocals, called the New Blood orchestra, with a very young director named Ben Foster and arrangements for orchestra by John Metcalfe, who came out only to direct Gabriel’s big hit, “In Your Eyes,” which he sang as an encore. (“In your eyes, the light, the heat. …I reach out from the inside…”) Who can forget the iconic scene with John Cusack holding the huge boom box on his shoulder and playing that song for Ione Skye?

I ordered the half sandwich and soup, with salad ($10.95). To be honest. the soup wasn’t that great, but everything else was fine and my waiter was wonderful. I have film of the group playing, but it says it is too large to upload to this site, so you’ll have to imagine them singing various Motown songs, like “My Girl” and “Stand By Me.”

Following my lunch, when I spilled an entire glass of water over the table (not on myself, however, fortunately),the music stopped and I paid my bill and proceeded to Water Tower Place with the sole goal of going to Sephora and maybe to the Coach store. Here you see me with the two girls who work at Orogold, the make-up store just before you enter Sephora on the 5th floor of Water Tower Place. Mor Bare and Nina Angel. Nina is the blonde; I didn’t believe her that that was her real name, but it is. They were excellent saleswomen and sold me a bionic mask that is going to turn me back into a teenager with use just once a month. Both are from Israel and very pretty.

Unfortunately, the budget of a retired English teacher did not allow me to purchase as many products as I probably need (and want), but I did secure the most important ingredients to lovelier me…or so say Mor and Nina. I asked Nina if I could use her name in my next book. She agreed.

I told the girls, as I left, that I still had to make the obligatory stop at Sephora, as I needed some other things, besides the gooey warm stuff that would save my skin.

Therefore, I walked the 20 feet or so to the entrance of the Sephora store, where I entered saying, “BOIING. I need BOIING.”(Boing, for the uninitiated, is an under-eye concealer that my daughter turned me on to.) My clerk at the Sephora store turned out to be the store manager, Domingo Gonzalez, who has worked for Sephora for 6 years. He helped me find a brush and some night eye cream to replace my empty container and posed, obligingly, with my 3D glasses and the orange I had taken from the “Tribune.”

Now, it was time to travel down the escalator and find the Coach store, where I would buy a new fall purse. This would set me back a fair amount, if you know anything about Coach products! ($228, before tax, …and tax in Chicago is 10% or something outrageous..highest in the country.) Mor and Nina, if you’re reading this, now you know why I had to pass on certain cosmetic items that I’m positive would have helped me immensely. I needed a new purse, so what’s a girl to do?

I checked out all the Coach items and settled on the one that was the last of its kind in the store, and…said clerk Erin Watt…was the one most of the girls in the store have purchased because it has some gold in the “C” logo. [And it’s big. I mean really big!]

Here are the two girls who helped me at Coach, Erin Watt and Kelly Rady (Kelly is the blonde)

My last stop was within Macy’s, where I bought a pair of earrings on sale for $9 ($10 with tax) and met Katai Fenesk and Daniel Marban. (I had Katie? Katai? write her name down for me, and I confess I cannot tell whether it is Katie or Katai, but both were very nice and they told me the store had recently been remodeled (hence the pictures of the store’s interior). Since it is the old Marshall FIelds, that might not set well with some folks, but the only complaint I have is that the escalator was not working…but at least it was the “down” escalator. (From which I took one of these photos.)

Somehow, I convinced Katie (Katai? Katwi? Katui?) that a photo of the two of them in men’s watches would be so much more interesting if they used the props (i.e. the 3D glasses and the orange.) Surprisingly. they didn’t need much convincing. They seemed to get into the spirit of “a day in Chicago” and here they are with the aforementioned glasses and orange. I apologize to KatieKatai/Katwi/Katui but I can’t tell what comes after “t” and at this point. weren’t we all bored anyway?

I’ve been putting captions under all these photos and under this one it said, “Macy’s employees go for World Orange Eating record, but the captions are not appearing. (Go figure).

Here are some shots of the interior of Macy’s. featuring their new remodeling and their broken escalator (which I am standing on to take this photo).

And, last. and certainly least, since it is blurry, is a picture of the interior of the bus (#146) I rode back to Roosevelt Road. One girl had very red hair that was clown-like in its color and consistency. Two others were reading books. One was reading “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.”

The red you see is not a hat, but the actual hair color, layered atop a brunette shade. Very…unusual.

I returned from my adventures at 4:30 and, in preparation for tonight’s Republican debate from Simi Valley, I took a nap. After that, I watched the debate and twittered during it and wrote a piece that you should all go read on Associated Content, which actually pays me for my contributions, unlike THIS blog, which is mine and makes not one farthing.

Tomorrow, back to the IA/IL Quad Cities. I hope you have enjoyed ” a random day in Chicago.”

Steve Jobs’ Quotes for Life and Living It

By Connie Wilson

On August 28, 2011

In Pop Culture, Uncategorized

An article created of Steve Jobs’ quotes, mostly taken from a speech to the graduating class at Stanford, crossed my desk and I want to share some of them with you.

These from the departing Chairman of Apple, who is battling cancer, as he has been for some time:

1) “About finding work: Don’t settle. Find work you love.”

2) “Almost everything—all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure—these things just fall away in the fact of death, leaving only what is truly important.”

3) “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.”

4) “Apple’s goal isn’t to make money. Our goal is to design and develop and bring to market good products…We trust as a consequence of that, people will like them, and, as another consequence, we’ll make some money. But we’re really clear about what our goals are.”

5) (1984, on the release of the Macintosh computer): “We’re gambling on our vision, and we would rather do that than make ‘me too’ products. Let some other companies do that. For us, it’s always the next dream.”

6) (On being fired by Apple) “It was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life…It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith.”

7) “Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me…Going to bed at night saying ‘We’ve done something wonderful. That’s what matters to me.’”

8) “I want to put a ding in the Universe.”

9) ““Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

“We don’t get a chance to do that many things, and every one should be really excellent…Because this is our life. Life is brief, and then you die, you know?”

Ryan Gosling: The Hottest Actor Currently Working in Hollywood

By Connie Wilson

On August 28, 2011

In Interviews, Movies, Pop Culture

Ryan Gosling: now appearing in a movie theater near you.

Ryan Gosling, who turned 31 on November 12, 2011, is in George Clooney’s new film “The Ides of March,” which is to open the 68th Venice Film Festival on August 31, 2011. Clooney both acts and directs in the film, portraying the fictional Governor Morris, based on Dr. Howard Dean, in a run for the Democratic presidential nomination.

Gosling will play Governor Morris’ spokesperson, with Paul Giametti as a rival campaign manager. I was there at “the scream heard ‘round the world” (ValAir Ballroom, Des Moines, Iowa, 2004) and I look forward to seeing how the movie makes use of that climactic moment in the Dean run for the roses.

Gosling also just acted in his first romantic comedy (“Crazy, Stupid Love”) with Steve Carell and Emma Stone. Next up will be his turn as an action hero in “Drive.” It seems that the handsome, idiosyncratic actor can play anything and is everywhere, these days, just as it seemed as though Shia LaBoeuf was everywhere with the “Wall Street” reprise, “Transformers” and his role as Indiana Jones, Jr. just a year or so ago.

With Gosling, however, you get the sense that— like Marlon Brando whose accent he says he copied after living in Florida with Canadian roots (born in London and grew up in Cornwall, a mill town on the border of Quebec and the United States). —it’s more about the craft of acting.

Beginnings

Gosling has been acting since the age of 12, after winning a spot in the Disney troop alongside such future stars as Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera and Brittney Spears. He beat out 17,000 other child actors and, with his mother (Dad, a paper mill worker, had split), he and Mom moved to the Yogi Bear trailer park in Kissimmee. Ryan’s acting paid the bills and was the duo’s sole income.

Of his Disney years, Gosling has said, “I loved the idea that Walt Disney had this dream of a place and then made it a reality.” Later, in discussing the David Lynch film “Blue Velvet” Gosling says, “It’s so clearly one person’s singular dream. The fact that somebody believed in their idea so much to make it a reality…I want to be that kind of person.”

Gosling has become that kind of actor, with indie cred but also the bankability of roles such as his 2004 starring role in “The Notebook” opposite Rachel McAdams. After “The Notebook” hit, he took a job in a sandwich shop near where he lived. Why? “I’d never had a real job.” Noting that “The problem with Hollywood is that nobody works” he concludes that it would be “a much happier place” if actual work were performed there.

Oscar Nod

Gosling has done some serious work in films that were honored by the nomination committee of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences, most notably his leading actor nomination for the role of drug-addicted teacher Dan Dunne in “Half Nelson.” Most experts predicted he would be nominated last year for his leading role opposite Michelle Williams in “Blue Valentine,” but only his co-star got the nod. Of that film, Gosling says it’s the best film he’ll ever make and comments on Director Derek Clanfrance’s dedication in having the cast actually live together in a house, as a family, prior to shooting the film. Clanfrance had spent 12 years on the film, declaring it “the film that I was born to make” and he allowed his actors to improvise much of their dialogue. “They had so much to do, so much to say in it,” says Clanfrance.

“Blue Valentine”

As for Gosling, he appreciated the opportunity to become part of the dream of a happy couple whose marriage falls apart, saying, “I thought it was really smart of him (Clanfrance) to do that, because even though you don’t see it in the film—they’re not scenes in the movie—I think you can feel it.” He also commented on the onscreen chemistry, saying, “It’s a love story, you know, and physical intimacy is a part of that and we were trying to capture that in a way that was not gratuitous or trying too hard to be sexy or something.” Gosling felt another dream world had been created and said, “Michelle and I found it hard to take off our wedding bands when it was over. We’d built this castle and then had to tear it down.” He does note, “What I like about the film is that it leaves it open.”

By that, Gosling means the end of the film, where the young couple seems as though they could, conceivably, reconcile. Or not. In that way, “Blue Valentine’s” ending was similar to Nicole Kidman’s film “Rabbit Hole.” Kidman was Oscar-nominated as Best Actress last year in that film, which also leaves the viewer to decide if the couple, (whose son has been killed in an automobile accident), is going to survive the tragedy or not.

Hot, Hotter, Hottest

Gosling’s onscreen chemistry with his leading ladies has been remarked upon repeatedly. In “The Notebook,” his scenes with Rachel McAdams were so incendiary that they almost earned the film an ‘R” rating. After making “Murder by Numbers” with Sandra Bullock, the two were a couple from 2001 – 2002, despite the fact that Gosling was 22 at the time and Bullock 37, a 16-year age difference. (The 47-year-old Bullock is rumored to be dating another younger Ryan, the twelve years younger Ryan Reynolds, age 34, her co-star in “The Proposal,” who is just out of a brief marriage to Scarlett Johansson.)

Doing It His Way

In a career that, despite his relative youth, has been ongoing for 18 years, Gosling is making his mark, and he’s doing it his way, selecting films that are idiosyncratic, like “The Believers” (2001) or “Lars and the Real Girl” (2007) and then switching over to his most recent box office offerings.

As he said, “There’s this idea in Hollywood, and I’ve seen it work for people, where the unspoken rule is, ‘Do 2 for them and 1 for yourself.’ And that’s kind of considered a fact. I’ve never really found that to be true for me. I’ve gotten more opportunities out of working on things I believed in then I ever did on things that weren’t special to me.”

For this actor, who points to Gary Oldman as his favorite actor, that method works for him. And it works out quite well for his audiences, as well. It is rumored that he will reprise Michael York’s role as “The Sandman” who catches “Runners” in the film reboot of “Logan’s Run,” the ’70s movie made from the classic William F. Nolan book.

Whatever Gosling does, it will be interesting.

“Crazy, Stupid Love:” Who or What Is A Jonah Bobo and Why Has He Ruined This Movie

By Connie Wilson

On August 27, 2011

In Pop Culture, Reviews

“Crazy, Stupid Love” is the latest Steve Carell vehicle, co-starring the uber-cool Ryan Gosling, Julianne Moore and Emma Stone—seemingly the ingénue flavor of the month. The tagline for the movie is: “This is stupid.” I couldn’t have said it better.

I saw this movie the day it opened, but waited to write about it until I figured out why it didn’t work that well. Two words: Jonah Bobo.

What? You don’t know what a “Jonah Bobo” is? To answer that question, he’s the child actor hired to play Carell’s son Robbie (age 13). The young man delivers his lines well. No question about that. He’s just wrong for the part. He looks like neither of his film parents (Julianne Moore & Steve Carell), has a haircut like a sheepdog, is short and—let’s face it—somewhat androgynous. The entire subplot revolving around Robbie’s (Jonah Bobo’s) huge crush on the 4-years-older Jessica (Analeigh Tipton) is made ridiculous by the lumpy kid who, in certain light, could be mistaken for a girl. He has a very Jewish kid look about him, while, to the best of my knowledge, neither of the onscreen parents would qualify in that department.

The other flawed part of the film, as written by Dan Fogelman and directed by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa, is the finale scene. I won’t spoil that by saying anything other than that it involves a miniature golf prop and the writers just didn’t know when to quit with that scene. Over-the-top just barely describes it.

The best parts of the film come when Julianne Moore as Carell’s wife asks for a divorce. Reason given? She slept with David Lindhagen (Kevin Bacon). Carell is then taken under the wing of the womanizing Jacob Palmer (Ryan Gosling) who dispenses wisdom on being cool like, “Don’t wear New Balance sneakers ever.” Upon meeting Carell in a bar, Jacob says, “I don’t know if I should help you or euthanize you. Do you have any idea when you lost it?” Carell’s character of Cal says, “A strong case can be made for 1984.”

The theme rammed down our throats throughout the movie is that “When you find the one, you never give up.” Like father, like son, in that regard…only the son (Jonah Bobo) really ruined it for me. Marisa Tomei has a small part as Robbie’s English teacher and my spouse considered her scenes among the movie’s strongest. I liked the Jake-teaches-Cal parts and hated the ending. Waaay too many coincidences and over-the-top clichés stuffed into that ending, boys.

It was just crazy. And stupid.

Colin Quinn in “Long Story Short” in Chicago at the Broadway Playhouse

By Connie Wilson

On August 26, 2011

In Humor and Weird Wilson-isms, Reviews, Television

Chicago, IL, August 25, 2011 Colin Quinn, who spent 5 seasons as a cast member on “Saturday Night Live” has brought his one-man show “Long Story Short” to Chicago from the Helen Hayes Theater on Broadway and the Bleecker Street Theatre (Off-Broadway), where his one-man show played on August 25, 2011 at the Broadway Playhouse near Water Tower Place. The material involves a history of the world not unlike the one-man show Eddie Izzard used to perform (only not as funny) and is billed as “directed by Jerry Seinfeld,” a plot which has to help ticket sales. (There’s not a lot of Seinfeld-ian moments that show Jerry’s golden touch.) And, as noted by a different New York reviewer, Quinn, although a seasoned performer, seemed a bit uneasy on stage and did not interact well (or at all) with his audience.

Quinn always had a somewhat sarcastic personality on “SNL.” I don’t remember him doing much physical humor. His overview of the world, purporting to show how “the world has changed, but humankind has not” was improved by lighting designer Howell Binkley and production stage manager Daniel J. Kells, (among others.)

In other words, rather than come out onstage and stand there alone with a microphone, no props, and do jokes as most stand-up comics must, Quinn has chosen to perform amongst some prodigious props: a set that consists of an elaborate set of gold steps and pillars and a plasma screen that shows images of various countries and cities throughout history, which the comic then attempts to smoothly craft into a comedy routine. Covering all of history in 75 minutes can’t be easy. At the end of 75 minutes, I felt as though the reason the audience (which was on its feet) got no encore is that Quinn had no more material to share. And what about the material he did share?

Quinn had a few worthwhile one-liners, most of them courtesy of the Greeks. “An unexamined life is not worth living,” is followed up by “An examined life is not that interesting, either.” Timely comments about the stock market and the Greeks invention of theater follow. [To hear Quinn tell it, the Greeks only invented theater so that they could diss their neighbors with impunity; then their kids got hooked on it (television analogy)], which was followed by another classic rip-off: “I know now that I know nothing.” (Sophocles). [There’s no joke there, but that’s fairly representative of much of the show.

Yes, there are some funny throwaway one-liners and nobody knows how tough it is to write 75 minutes of onstage (or offstage) funny better than me (“Laughing through Life” is my latest book-length attempt at humor, and there’s an earlier book as well). So I’ll give him credit for making a good attempt, but I just kept thinking of Eddie Izzard’s brilliant HBO Special and, frankly, Eddie Izzard’s brilliant show is a hard act to follow by a less-talented mere mortal, who seems to be just a regular guy who likes to crack wise a lot and is not wearing attention-getting women’s clothing while delivering his set.

Quinn, a Catholic by birth, referenced going to Confession in a dark booth and likened it to “telling your secrets to a man who might have a poster of Justin Bieber on his wall.” He suggested that, given the Catholic Church’s recent troubles with pedophile priests, “They could lose the kneeling for a couple of years until things calm down.” At this point, Quinn was actually kneeling onstage. This foray into physical humor was atypical. Quinn isn’t really the kind of guy like the late great Richard Pryor or the current Dane Cook who does much physical humor. When he does, it seems rather forced and unnatural. It’s not his forte, and it showed, as when he referenced people who scratch themselves or poke you while you’re talking to them.

During the 75-minute act (no intermission), which began promptly at 7:30 p.m. and ended just as promptly at 9:00 p.m., with no encore, Quinn pretty much hit all of the past and present hot-spots in the world: Greek, Rome, Spain, England, Ireland, Israel (“Shalom means hello and good-bye because the Jews, wherever they go, get chased out immediately.” Made me wonder about Hawaiians, and “Aloha,” which also has that distinction). Holland, the Mayans, the Aztecs, Russia (“experts at perfecting depression”), Sudan, Canada (“Nobody wants to live there. There’s something about Canada that creeps people out. It’s like it’s 8 inches to the left. Even their national anthem is dismissive: “Oh, Canada.”)…Most of the world comes in for some comic jabs.

With lines (re the Australians) like “God bless those alcoholics…There are 6 planets closer to us than Australia is right now” and comparisons of the world today to a bar at 3:30 in the morning (“Iraq is in the parking lot. He says he has a gun. He’s talking shit!”) and ripping off those oh-so-hilarious Greeks time and time again (“We are what we repeatedly do,” Aristotle), Quinn has woven a Cliff’s Notes, or, in this case, a Quinn’s Notes version of history that has its moments.

Just not enough of them.

Checker Cab Limo Making Cross Country Trip

By Connie Wilson

On August 21, 2011

In Humor and Weird Wilson-isms, travel

Checker Limo in Chicago.

An uncle and nephew duo driving a Checker cab limo (25 feet, 8 doors) from California to New York visited me in Chicago, where I turned over the “keys to the condo” to the pair, so that they could enjoy Chicago Saturday, Sunday, Monday, leaving on Tuesday for Kalamazoo, Michigan, where the yellow vehicles used to be made.

George, 62, said that this particular car had been built in something like 1959 and that the vehicles were used as cabs in Alaska, where he first saw them. He was smitten with the idea of purchasing one and finally found one at an old car dealer’s in California, where the duo flew to retrieve the massive automobile and begin making a cross-country trek. I think I got into the act, somehow, because I had made the “Ghostly Tales of Route 66” trip along Route 66.

Patrick, me, and a Checker Limo.

At any rate, it was great fun meeting and greeting George and Patrick and their huge and hard-to-park car. It wasn’t too difficult figuring out where to put George and Patrick, but the car was an entirely different matter!

The Kalamazoo, Michigan paper did a story on the pair, since the cars used to be built there. I called the Chicago “Tribune” but they were underwhelmed with the story and photo op. Not me, though. I haven’t had this much excitement since I did the Oscar Mayer WeinerMobile story!

Two nice new friends who, I hope, had a great time in the Windy City.

Checker Limo Makes Cross-Country Trip

Obama Visits Atkinson, Illinois

By Connie Wilson

On August 18, 2011

In Local, Of Local (Quad Cities') Interest, Politics

The locals watch Obama on television from the Wyffels' Seed Factory in Atkinson, Illinois on Wednesday, August 17, 2011.

I took off for Atkinson, Illinois at 10:30 a.m. President Obama was to visit this village of 1100 people at 11:30 a.m. After 2 presidential campaigns, where the time of arrival is usually off by at least a half hour (His 3:30 stop in Alpha, for instance, did not occur until 5:00 p.m.) I was pretty sure that I’d beat the President to the flag-draped town 8 miles east of Geneseo.

I drove past Geneseo on Interstate 80, an approximate 30 to 40 minute drive, in the Grasshopper (my 2005 green Prius) and, at each overpass, I noticed police with police and highway patrol cars above me. At each turnaround there was a large orange piece of heavy duty equipment that would prevent anyone from doing a “turnaround”—even if turnarounds were not specifically prohibited by signage.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011.

So, picture me humming “dum de dum dum” (although I was actually listening to the late, great Amy Winehouse sing “no, no, no” to the idea of going to rehab. )Up came the exit for Atkinson (pop. 1100) and I exited. I made the turn onto the overpass to the left only to have a highway patrolman frantically wave at me to “go back.”

Initially, I began back-pedaling like a kid stung by a wasp, but then I thought, “Wait a minute. How am I going to get into Atkinson if this is the exit and this guy won’t let me use the road?” (At that point, I had not yet thought of back roads.) I put the Grasshopper into Drive and slowly and cautiously inched forward to ask the nice highway patrolman where he suggested I should go. he didn’t say, “To hell,” but he might as well have, given the level of hysteria he projected.

“You’re on the entrance ramp!” he screamed, quite unnecessarily. “You’re just ahead of the motorcade!”

This was exactly as I had hoped would be the case: me waiting for a brief time, rather than spending my whole morning standing around in the hot sun waiting for a large black bus to breeze by me. One man I spoke to later said he had been outside since 8:00 a.m.

Federal stimulus money helped underwrite the construction of the village's new fire station, currently under construction.

I finally backed up and took the ramp heading east towards Chicago, not quite sure what my next move should be. As I was speeding along on Interstate 80 to the east, I saw one of the turn-arounds that had, for some inexplicable reason, not been barricaded by large orange trucks. Despite signs suggesting that I not make a turn-around, I was headed in the wrong direction and getting nowhere fast, so I chanced it. Now I was, at least, heading back toward the overpass I was not being allowed to use to enter Atkinson. Since the first Smokey (yes, they were wearing those peaked hats) had been quite set against allowing me access to the delights of the village of Atkinson, I needed to figure out how I was going to access the town. I didn’t expect to be among the 300 people crowded into the Wyffel’s Seed Facility: those seats went fast and people got in line as early as 2:00 a.m. and still got shut out. I just planned to wander around in town and see what the mood of the populace was.
Would there be demonstrators, for or against the president’s visit? Would there be unpleasantness of the sort I had recently been subjected to, where a know-nothing graduate of Jefferson High School (in Independence, Iowa), a Bible-thumping seller of reverse mortgage programs who was “so proud” to be in the industry had called me both “stupid” and “godless” because I was not down with the Republican presidential candidates. I could envision some of these reverse mortgage engineers (think Fred Thompson), driving trucks with gun racks, getting in my face (or someone else’s face who had actually managed to gain admission to the tiny town) and being unpleasant. This was what I hoped to find out: just how unpleasant or pleasant would the populace be? What would the mood be “on the ground.”

I began heading back towards the overpass. It occurred to me that, since the first Smokey the Bear policeman had told me that the motorcade was right behind me, I could perhaps get a snapshot of the motorcade on its way across that very ramp, heading into town (something I was not having much luck doing.)

I drove as slowly as I could drive while on an Interstate and, about a mile from the overpass, while braking sharply, 2 cameras 2 maps, 2 notebooks and my purse all fell off the passenger’s side seat and fell to the floor. Turning on my signal, I pulled over to the shoulder of I-80 to pick up my camera equipment, et. al. By the time my head came up from under the dashboard, I was greeted by the sight of yet another Smokey the Bear look-alike burning rubber while accelerating his highway patrol car in reverse, heading towards the Grasshopper at warp speed.

This conversation took place with the highway patrolman guy, who was as impressed with his lot in life as anyone I’ve met.

“MA’AM! WE CAN’T HAVE THIS!”

“I know. My cheap Canon fell on top of my expensive Nikon!” (me)

(Smokey) “NO! I MEAN WE CAN’T HAVE YOU HERE!”

(Me) “But I AM here. I’m just waiting till the motorcade goes by so I can get into town.”

(Smokey) “WE CAN’T HAVE THAT! MOVE ALONG!”

(Me) “Can I just pop out and take a picture of the overpass as the motorcade drives into town?”

(Smokey) Dumfounded. Incredulous look.

So, I once again drove down Interstate 80, this time driving back to the west, towards Geneseo. Since I was still laboring under the misconception that Obama had spent the night at the Blackhawk Hotel in downtown Davenport and, therefore, would be coming from the west, I briefly considered staying in the parking lot of the convenience store at the intersection and taking a photo from that vantage point.

Then I remembered that there was a back road to access Geneseo. I reasoned there must be a back highway to access Atkinson and I plugged in the Atkinson Town Hall as my destination of choice. Sure enough, Highway 6 would take me to Atkinson, and I began following the nice lady’s voice to drive town the flag-lined road and roam the small village.

As I drove aimlessly about in Atkinson, I was struck by the small-town look and feel of the boulevard-like main street, which, I noticed, had a corner tap that was open for business. I parked my car and strolled in to order a Diet Coke and test the waters.

There was a bar stool open at the bar, next to a couple, Mr. and Mrs. VanOpdorp, who lived in Atkinson for years but now live in Rock Island.

“My grandfather came through here on the train when he arrived from Holland. He got off the train at this very bar, which has been open since the 1800’s, and had his first beer in America and he just decided to stay.” So, if he had bought his first beer in New Mexico, Mr. VanOpdorp might have been living in a much warmer climate.

Without asking anyone’s political designation, I asked Mr. and Mrs. VanOpDorp and others seated near me in the bar who they liked in the 2012 presidential race. “Do you think the Republicans will nominate Romney to run against Obama?” I asked, as the two plasma TV sets behind the bar showed President Obama’s remarks, live, on KWQC Channel 6.

“Naaah. The Republicans don’t have a dog in the fight, so far,” said Mr. VanOpdorp.

“You don’t think the Republicans have any good candidates?”

“Naaah.” Mr. VanOpdorp and his wife both shook their heads no.

“What about Governor Perry of Texas?”

“Naaah.”

Apparently, the crowd inside the Corner Tap in Atkinson was either firmly Democratic or simply disinterested in the outcome of the election, but everyone in the bar was very interested in what President Barack had to say this day. All were listening intently and respectfully.

Later, on the streets of Atkinson, fathers held their young children on their shoulders to catch a glimpse of the President of the United States as he drove out of town in his big black bus, waving to all of us standing on the sidewalks waiting to catch a glimpse of him.

Really, Republican Party? Really?

By Connie Wilson

On August 14, 2011

In Local, Of Local (Quad Cities') Interest, Politics

In the wake of Michele Bachmann’s pulling out all the stops, including bringing in Travis Tritt and “meat sundaes” to her tent at the Iowa Straw Poll, is it any wonder that, after 17,000 votes were cast, she was pronounced the winner by a slight margin (200 votes or so) over Ron Paul, who also had his “Dump Bernanke” tank and the “dollar slide” AND the best tent position. Add to that Bachmann’s claims to being “a 7th generation Iowan” and it doesn’t seem too surprising that she won the straw poll, which is about as unscientific as you can get and seldom predicts the winner, anyway.

That is why this line from Matt Strawn, Iowa Republican Party chairman, seems disingenuous: “I think for the first time in a long time, there’s probably more uncertainty over what the ultimate finish will be in Ames.” My reaction to that: “Ha!” I wrote a piece that appeared yesterday that pointed all the above out and drew the obvious conclusion that Bachmann would do well. She did. What is Matt Strawn smoking or eating over there in Ames?

SEC Requests Documents of Deere Related to Possible Violations

By Connie Wilson

On August 11, 2011

In Local, Of Local (Quad Cities') Interest, Politics

If you missed the notice in the Chicago “Tribune” today (Thursday, August 11, 2011), the Securities and Exchange Commission on July 25 requested documents of Deere & Company regarding a possible violation of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act in Russia. A Deere spokesman told Bloomberg that the company is cooperating with the SEC request and gave no further details.

It would be nice to see what candidates Deere bankrolled in the recent political elections and which they will bankroll in 2012.