I just got off an internet chat session from Comcast support… this is the actual exchange (I just cut and pasted here)… I found it kind of humorous:
Maria: Hello Scott, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Maria. Please give me one moment to review your information.
analyst Maria has entered room
Scott: My Issue: Regarding Ticket #017527451, I keep getting contacted from a collection agency even though Comcast has confirmed the charges are incorrect. Can you please contact the collection agency and inform them?
Maria: I appreciate you taking the time to chat with us. I hope your day went well.
Scott: sure
Maria: Thank you.
Scott: There is an incorrect charge owed of $89.74 on my account.
Maria: I understand that you are having a hard time connecting to Collections Department and would want me to contact them on your behalf, Scott.
Scott: These charges against me occurred AFTER I disconnected service
Scott: Not the collections department
Scott: n outside third party who does the collections for Comcast
Scott: (an)
Maria: Oh, I can perfectly understand your concern on this matter, Scott. No worries, I can definitely check the status of your ticket # you have provided.
Scott: thanks
Maria: You are most welcome.
Maria: Would you mind giving me one moment to pull up your account?
Scott: sure
Maria: Thank you.
Maria: I am now pulling up your old account.
Scott: taking a long time
Maria: Thank you so much for patiently waiting. I have now pulled up your account.
Maria: To protect your account I will need to verify some additional information. Would you please provide me with the last 4 digits of your social security number?
Scott: 1234
Maria: Excellent!
Maria: Thank you so much for verifying your account.
Maria: Great news!
Scott: sure
Maria: I am seeing here that your current balance is $0.00.
Maria: The $89.74 has already been adjusted on your account.
Maria: Isn’t it great?
Scott: great. Can you officially inform the collection agency then so they stop calling me?
Scott: And confirm to me that they were contacted?
Scott: I can even provide you with their phone number
Scott: Isn’t that great!
Maria: Oh, I can definitely note this on your account so the collections department would be able to see the updates on your balance.
Maria: Oh, Sure thing, that would be great!
Scott: great!
Scott: Would you mind giving me one moment to pull up the number?
Maria: Oh, please take your time, Scott.
Scott: great!
Scott: (elevator music)
Maria: That’s a good one!
Scott: great! glad you liked it
Scott: please continue to hold while I pull that up
Maria: Oh, sure thing, I am just right here waiting for you.
Maria: Scott, just to let you know, at the end of this chat there will be a short survey.
Scott: great!
Maria: I would greatly appreciate if you grant my simple request to spare few seconds of your time to complete a short survey on how well I have assisted you.
Scott: great! a survey
Scott: I love surveys
Maria: Yes, a survey, Scott.
Maria: Oh, I love to know that you love taking surveys! thank you so much for your cooperation. Your comments and suggestions means a lot to me.
Scott: The collections agency phone is 877-236-5791
Maria: Perfect!
Scott: Yes!
Scott: Amazing!
Maria: One moment please as I note the number down for you.
Scott: Oh, sure thing, I am just right here waiting for you.
Maria: Wow! thank you so much for your patience.
Scott: Snap! No worries!
Maria: Great news! I have already taken cared everything for you.
Maria: Thank you.
Scott: Great! What is it that you have taken care of? Contacted the agency and informed them?
Maria: Oh, I have noted everything that we have discussed here today and that includes the number you have provided to be called (Collections – third party #).
Scott: Oh, great!
Scott: Is there anything else I can do for you?
Maria: Sure thing it is!
Scott: Have a great day! Oh… and a great evening!
Maria: Oh, I should be the one asking you that, Scott. Sure thing you have a sense of humor!
Maria: Oh you too! Have a blessed evening!
Maria: Would there be anything else before we end?
Scott: Right back at ya!
Scott: (boomerang style)
Maria: Oh! I am so happy I was able to resolved and help you with your issue today by giving you the assurance that the $89.74 has already been adjusted on your account.
Maria: Oh! that’s a good one!
Maria: I have also noted everything on your account for Collection’s reference before contacting you back again.
Scott: Not as happy as I! After all, it is my $89.74 we are both excited about!
Scott: Goodbye Maria!
Maria: I am so happy that you don’t need to pay $89.74 anymore!
Maria: Good bye to you too, Scott.
Maria: That pretty much covers everything, Scott. Once again, thank you for contacting Comcast chat support. It has been a pleasure assisting you today. We thank you for choosing Comcast as your provider, remember it is our guarantee to be available to answer questions at your convenience, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Scott: (or is that your “XFINITY Chat” name?)
Scott: Wow, you typed that fast!
Maria: Yes, Maria is my real name and chat name at the same time.
Scott: nimble!
Scott: Great!
Maria: Thank you! I am glad to hear that.
Scott: Me too!
Scott: Now go out there and give XFINITY your best today!
Maria: Sure thing I will, Scott!
Scott: Oh, one other thing while you are here “Maria”…
Maria: Sure thing, go ahead please.
Scott: Any chance you can reduce my cable bill costs… by as much as 50%… without any loss of service?
Maria: Oh, I can definitely understand that you would want to save and keep your current services at the same time, Scott.
Maria: No worries we still have a solution for this.
Scott: Great!
Scott: Does it involve others paying my bill?
Maria: For more promo options and offers, you may contact our Customer’s Solutions. They will have access to more promotions available specifically to retain loyal customers like you. They can be reached at #1-800-934-6489 and is available from Mondays to Saturdays at 8am-6pm.
Scott: Again… you are a fast typist!
Maria: May I ask if what do you mean by that?
Maria: Oh, thank you!
Scott: Sure! means I think you are a fast typist!
Maria: Oh! thank you for the compliment, Scott!
Scott: You typed that paragraph in like 2.7 seconds!
Maria: Wow!
Scott: Zoinks!
Maria: Oh, before I forgot, that is eastern standard time.
Scott: Well “Maria”… it’s been great… I’m exhausted… I don’t know if I ‘ll have enough energy for that “survey” your gonna throw at me
Scott: Sounds a lot like an ACT or something
Maria: Oh, that is alright.
Scott: Will I be graded?
Maria: That’s a good one, Scott!
Maria: It’s alright. No worries.
Scott: Can you take the survey for me?
Scott: Just enter the name “Scott” instead of Maria
Maria: Oh, I am saddened that I can’t.
Scott: I am more saddened that you can’t
Maria: Oh!
Scott: Ok then… get those nimble fingers back to work… at this rate you only end up assisting 3.4 customers per day
Maria: Surveys are optional. It’s perfectly fine if you are unable to participate.
Scott: I’ll think about it during the next music interlude
Scott: Ok.. bye “Maria”!
Maria: Perfect!
Maria: Good bye now, Scott!
Maria: I enjoyed assisting you today!
Maria: Have a blessed evening!
Scott: what do you mean by that?
Scott: Oh! I enjoyed you assisting me as well!
Scott: Good by now, “Maria”!
Maria: Oh, I mean, I enjoyed the chat conversation.
Scott: Oh! Great!
Scott: Bye!
Maria: Good bye now scott!
Maria: Please click on “Exit Chat“ or `Close Chat` button to properly close this chat and to take the survey. Thank you for contacting Comcast and have a great day.
Scott: Oh!
Scott: One last thing “Maria”
Maria: Oh, that’s alright if you just click exit and not take the survey.
Maria: Sure thing.
Scott: Will I indeed receive a confirmation once the collection agency is contacted?
Maria: Yes, you will be.
Scott: Great!
Scott: Take care!
Maria: You too, take care!