Thoughts of the Kevin Costner Variety

Yes, I mean Kevin Costner, the actor best known for his Oscar-winning year with “Dances with Wolves” (1990), which garnered 7 Academy Awards and, according to Kevin Costner in an interview in July 20, 2008 “Parade” magazine, put such strain on his marriage of 16 years (they were wed in 1978) that it collapsed under the strain. Costner had three children with his college girlfriend from Cal State, Fullerton (Cindy Silva):  Anne (now 23), Lily (now 21) and Joe (now 20). Costner also fathered a child out-of-wedlock with socialite Bridget Rooney, a Pittsburgh resident. That child, Liam, is not 11, but the marriage-shy Costner did not tie the knot with the child’s mother.

Then he met Christine Baumgartner, the blonde, younger trophy wife (whom he had met once before on a golf course many years prior when practicing for his role in “Tin Cup.” Baumgartner is 33 years old, to Costner’s 53, and they have been married for four years (2004). They have a son, Cayden, who is one.

So, what pearls of wisdom does the marriage-shy Costner have to share with readers who might miss his Midwest tour with his band? Yes, his band. It seems that old movie stars never really die; they just form a rock band and tour, and that is what Costner is going to be doing with his band, the country rock band Modern West, which will be playing Chicago’s House of Blues soon. (Costner says his wife joins him as often as possible on the road.)

I heard Costner sing in “The Postman” and my Costner fix will have to wait until his latest movie, “Swing Vote” hits theaters on August 1^st. To say it was a painful experience to watch (and/or listen) to Costner sing is being kind.

But back to Pearls of Costner Wisdom, and I mean this seriously. The man has given some thought to life and love and one of my favorite quotes from way back when is “Marriage is a tough gig.”

New Pearls of Wisdom are these:

• “We’re afraid of a lot of things in life. It’s part of the human condition. What do we fear? Love? Failure? Telling the truth about ourselves? I think we don’t show people all we truly are because we’re afraid that if they actually know everything about us, they won’t love us. I’m as guilty of that as anyone.”
• “Falling in love is a really tricky thing. If you pretend you’re in love when you’re really not, it ends up bloody.”
• “When I met Christine, I wasn’t prepared to be in loved again. It took me a long time before I said, ‘ I love you’ to her, a long time.”
• “After my marriage ended, I never dated anyone consistently. I stayed single. When I wanted some company in my life, I was like the classic single guy—who do I love this week, who next week? I wouldn’t even use the word ‘love’ with someone, because that makes things trickier.”
• “I have never wanted to be afraid in my life, but after my divorce, I was. The pain of that experience had been so strong that I never wanted to go through it ever again.”
• “Sometimes you learn that the thing you’re most afraid of in life is the thing that will save your life.”

So, those are today’s Costner’s Pearls of Wisdom (courtesy of Dotson Rader’s interview of the 6′ 1″ heart-throb in the Sunday, July 20^th, “Parade” magazine. He may not be much of a singer, but he has some experience at living life, and I always look forward to his latest observations on same.